Spring Time!

Spring Time!!!!

   When one is living in Colorado you never know what the weather is going to do.  A prime example of that has been the last couple of days for me.  On Tuesday I walked into work and we knew that a storm was coming so my coworker and I packed a bag and headed to the eastern plains of Colorado.  Now I am writing this post from my hotel room due to being stuck because of a blizzard.  

   With this being said though for the past couple of weeks we have had some pretty amazing summer which is one of the best parts of being in Colorado.  The kids have been really enjoying the warm weather as well.  Teagan has several times walked up to me to ask is it warm enough outside to play or ride or bikes?  Both of the kiddos have really started to enjoy being outside more as they get older. Teagan keeps asking to go to the park and swing on the swings!!

   The big thing this spring has been riding their bikes.  Teagan has been wanting to ride her big girl bike since she got it for Christmas.  I have really enjoyed watching them improve at riding their bikes, it even motivated me to get my bike out of the shed so that hopefully we can go for a bike ride together.  So far I have just spent a lot of time walking with them while they are riding, I can't complain though it is nice to get outside and I get a little exercise while walking.  It helps me get my steps in for my FitBit.  

   Jude has had a few struggles with riding his bike, the hardest part is that he cannot get out of his head ( I know Censie is laughing right now because he completely gets that from me).  Jude is so afraid that he is going to fall and get hurt.  He took a good fall this past summer right before his birthday and ever sense then he has been afraid.  It is hard for me because I get his anxiety but sadly his anxiety usually makes me anxious as well.  

  

   This week I found myself this week looking at websites trying to find the best way to teach him to ride a bike.  As I was talking to Censie about this she helped me come to a very good realization:  He is doing just fine!!!!  I was getting anxious that I have not been teaching him right or that he isn't getting it.  I should be celebrating all the successes that he has had so far this year.  He is doing so well despite his fears.  This was a good realization for me to make sure to spend more time celebrating the successes with my children.

  

   I hope that everyone is able to get out and enjoy the nice weather and have some good quality family time.  I hope that we can all celebrate the small successes with our kids and with each other.  I cannot wait for summer!!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!

I hope that everyone had a great Holiday season and a great Christmas.  I have to be the first one to say that our family was extreme blessed this holiday season.  The main reason for that is being able to be together with each other.  To me this is the best gift that I could ever receive.

I am a sucker when it comes to traditions, and it has been interesting developing new traditions with my own family.  I will admit though I miss having my parents here to celebrate those traditions but thanks to technology we get to have time with them.  Our family is very lucky though that we do have my wife's parents just down the street from us and they have been a huge part of our lives and the kids lives.  

We started this Christmas off by going to church with our family.  The kids got all dressed up and were good kids during the service.  I am a sucker for Silent Night by candlelight in the church.  There is something special about this son and singing it on Christmas Eve. We sadly had to break away from our normal tradition of going to Texas Roadhouse for dinner, it was a two hour wait, but we went to dinner and had some good conversation.  We also had a great time tracking Santa, thank you NORAD, and finding where he was going next.  

After a great evening with family the kiddos left out cookies, carrots, and milk out for Santa.  They put on their Christmas Eve pajamas that the elves brought and headed to bed.  After a little while the little elves got around to helping Santa.  I spent three nights earlier in the week building all the gifts so that I didn't have to do it on Christmas Eve, thank goodness I had the time to do that otherwise I am pretty sure I wouldn't have slept, as it happens I got very little sleep as it is.  Jude was so excited he woke up almost ever two hours to ask if we could open presents.  The kids were very excited to see the gifts that were out for them. 

The kids made quick work of all their presents, they are expert unwrappers.  I don't know where they get this talent but they have perfected it.  We opened presents at home then went to grandma and grandpa's opened more presents then had Christmas lunch.  The kiddos did well despite being completely exhausted and over stimulated.  I was a proud dad!  We were able to talk to our family in Amsterdam and Grandma, Grandpa, and Great Grandma in Arizona.  Again thank goodness for technology and Skype!!

Jude challenged me to his Rock em' Sock em' Robots, and I have a ringer in the family.  He was an expert but we had a great time and have played a couple more times since last night already.  We even had a white Christmas!  People think that this happens every Christmas in Colorado but is is not!  

I hope that you had a great Christmas and got everything that you wanted and needed.  I look forward to sharing more and more with everyone in the upcoming year.  Here is to a happy and healthy 2016!!!

The Day John Lennon Died

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

"Imagine" by John Lennon

On this day in 1980 John Lennon was shot and killed by Mark David Chapman outside his New York apartment just hours after John Lennon had signed an autograph for him on his Double Fantasy Album.  I wasn't even born yet and had no idea how much his music would mean to me or play a role in my life.  

When I was growing up my parents were pretty strict with music and my father was/is quite into country music.  Now, if you know me you know that I am not a fan of country music at all so we didn't really bond over this, but we did over the Beatles.  On our way to church on Sunday mornings we would often times listen to Breakfast with the Beatles.  I then found the awe that is their music and the poetry within their lyrics.

Now I know that John Lennon was not a perfect person by no means.  I have read a lot about him as I have grown up and taken an interest in him.  So please do not feel like you need to tell me how horrible of a person he was, however his music was amazing and his lyrics still have a special place in my heart and will always resonate with me.

We're playing those mind games together
Pushing the barriers planting seeds
Playing the mind guerrilla
Chanting the Mantra peace on earth
We all been playing those mind games forever
Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil
Doing the mind guerrilla
Some call it magic the search for the grail

Love is the answer and you know that for sure
Love is a flower you got to let it grow.

"Mind Games" by John Lennon

I have shared my love for the Beatles with my son, Jude.  He knows who they all are and whenever he hears "Hey Jude" he says that is his song.  It is something that we have been able to bond over and I hope he will continue to share with me as he grows older.  We listened to "Imagine" tonight on the record player and I sang along with all the words.  Is it wrong to imagine the world living in peace?  Yes some of his thoughts maybe considered "Radical" but sometimes we need those to make us think about things from a different perspective. 

I think that I will continue my tradition of listening to John Lennon's music on this day and like I said I hope that his music will continue to be part of my life with the kids.  Thank you Mr. Lennon and my your dream live on!

Tae Kwon Do

I cannot remember how many times I asked my mom while I was growing up to let me do Karate.  Lets be honest a lot of this (as it probably is with Jude) came from TMNT or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the movies Karate Kid, Sidekicks, and 3 Ninjas.  So in traditional kid fashion I asked all the time and then my mom would always respond in traditional parent fashion "No" and when pushed she would say "Because I said so". 

I do not know all of my mom's thoughts but I believe she told me several times that I couldn't take Karate because she didn't want me to fight or punch others.  Until I was a parent I never understood this thought.  I mean all I wanted to do was to do the awesome kicks, flips and break a board.  What kid doesn't watch a video of someone breaking a board with their hand or head and think they can do that.  I am pretty sure that there were multiple attempts at trying it as well.  None of those attempts were successful but luckily no serious injuries were sustained besides a big lump on the head.  

So lets fast forward to present time when Jude came up to us and asked to do Karate.  I am pretty sure that I had the very same thought as my mom.  No you cannot do that I am continually yelling to stop punching things and you want me to send you to a class that teaches you how to punch things.  I was very nervous to put him in any type of martial arts.  I must admit the reason that I was so nervous was due to my lack of knowledge.  I will be the first one to say that I am glad I did my research and took the time to educate myself.  

I took the kids to the Thornton Fest and Jude won a month of free lessons of Tae Kwon Do.  Again my ignorance showed off because I thought that all forms of martial arts were basically the same, I was so wrong.  We figured that this would be a good time for Jude to try Tae Kwon Do to see if he even liked it, little did I know how well he would do and how much he would enjoy it.  We went for our welcome night and he was very nervous to get out there but he did and he was hooked.  We have been going for about 6 months now and I am so amazed at the progress that he has made and how great it has been for him. 

Jude is built the same way I was at his age.  Tall and completely uncoordinated.  We will just be walking and the the next thing I know Jude is down on the ground.  Tae Kwon Do has helped him with his coordination so much.  He has been learning how to control his body.  He has to learn how to watch the instructor and copy the form.  The forms often time require them to do multiple moves with their hands and feet at the same time.  Yes it involves punches and kicks but it focuses completely on control as well.  The instructors will many times that you have to be able to control your body in order to control your mind.

I have to say I am so impressed with how well they are doing with him and would recommend martial arts to everyone.  I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I have but seeing the look on his face when he accomplishes a new form or gets a new belt.  I cannot wait to see how far he goes with this and will encourage him the entire way.  I am no expert but I am learning and showing him the enthusiasm that he needs, isn't that what every child needs?

We had a great weekend!

I hope that everyone had a great weekend, I know we did.  It is exhausting sometimes doing all the running around that comes with being a family but it is so amazing as well. 

We had a busy weekend but it was great. We took the kiddos out for a treat on Friday night and saw The Peanuts movie Itwas great. The kids were dancing and laughing. It was pretty cool seeing them enjoy Snoopy and Charles Brown. These are classic characters but the kiddos thought they were great. I would definitely recomend it to anyone. 

Saturday Teagan had her dance class she is really enjoying it. She told me that she is going to be a ballerina. I wouldn't put anything past my little firecracker. We then went to Jude's Tae Kwon Do testing and belt ceremony. He got another new belt. He has been working hard in Tae Kwon Do and it is showing. He even got to break one of the testing boards with a side kick, I hope I got the terminology correct. He was so proud of what he has accomplished. 

I can't wait to see where he goes with this. 

Today Jude had to sing at church. It was so great seeing all the kids up there doing the motions and singing with pride. 

We then came home and proceeded to rake up the leaves and the kids ran and jumped in them. It was funny having to teach them how to play in the leaves some. They then also helped me pick up all the leaves. The got a little bit of money for helping their old man with picking all of the leaves up. They appeared to have fun so that is a win win I think. 

The kiddos then played in their playroom while I tried to watch football. It's always a challenge but they did great. Teagan kept running out wearing a new costume. Here she is as bat girl. 

Overall it was a busy weekend and I'm sitting here typing as I feel like I'm going to fall asleep, but it was great. I love spending time with my family and building all these great memories. What did you do this weekend?  I hope to hear from some of you on what things you did over the weekend. 

Halloween!

I must admit I become a huge kid when Halloween comes. It is one of my favorite holidays. I love all the horror movies, albeit I don't get to watch many anymore. I think the scariest thing we watched this Halloween season was "Toy Story of Terror."  

I love the decorations and all the prep and hype getting ready to pick your costume out, and wearing it out to trick or treat. I also love carving the pumpkins even though it seems as though the kids pick the pumpkins, pick the design, then they sit back and relax while I carve them!!!

We had a sick little girl this year so she got a ride in the wagon while we went out trick or treating but she had fun and was an adorable Doc McStuffins. 

This year Jude started off wanting to be something from Star Wars but when we went he picked out a Ghostbuster costume. As soon as he chose that I knew I had the perfect opportunity. What does a Ghostbuster need to go out with him?  A Stay Puft Marshmallow man that's what!!!

Luckily Censie was able to find an inflatable costume for me, I wasn't sure it would fit given I'm 6'5" but it fit. It was so much fun and we got many compliments and he often times was told that he was getting more candy because of our awesome duo. I think I am owed some of that as a dad tax but he keeps saying no. 

I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween, I loved seeing all the pictures. Jude also started talking to me today about our costumes for next year so keep your eyes open next Halloween for what we have in store. 

Am I Less of a Man?

I found this Meme online the other day and it struck me.

Some is going to have to tell Censie that she has a girlfriend!!!!!

That is right I am almost 33 years old and I have never fired a gun.  I have shot a paintball gun, a pellet gun, a BB gun and an airsoft gun but I have never fired a actual gun before. I have had detectives and law enforcement officers that I work with give me a hard time and tell me that I need to go and learn and that I should get my carry and conceal permit due to the line of work I am in but I don't know to actually shoot a gun.

Does this make me less of a man than someone who has shot a gun?  Am I a woman because I haven't fired a firearm before?  

Please tell me why you have to fire a gun to be a man?  There are many times that I feel very manly but none of them ever have to do with shooting a firearm.  My father was not a hunter we fished.  My grandfather was a hunter and he said that he was going to take me Pheasant hunting but he died before that ever happened.  Censie's grandpa had firearms in his house being on a ranch but when I met him I never went shooting with him or saw him shoot.  I know that he knew how to and still did it wasn't something that we did together though.

I feel that my family was one of those families who were never really into guns and we didn't have avid hunters in our family so it wasn't something that we did together.  I also at this point do not have the desire to learn how to field dress a dead animal, I can clean the guts out of a fish but that is as far I want to go.  I do not like this opinion that you are less of a man if you do not own a gun.  So should I start prepping Jude that he doesn't have a real man as a father because I do not own a gun or know how to shoot a gun?

I have thought about taking gun safety classes and learning some about them as Jude is getting older he does have a fascination with guns, this is a typical boy thing but I have not decided yet.  I know that family members do have guns and have talked to them about when Jude comes over that they need to be locked up and put away so that the children do not have access to them.  This is family though what about friends?  I guess I will be okay knowing that I am considered by some as a woman because I have not fired a gun before.  

Mom, Mother, Moeder, Mutter, Madre, and Maman!

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

Mark Twain

No matter how you say it she is my mom and I am thankful for her.  She has been my best friend and a rock for my whole life and now I get the pleasure of seeing her as a grandmother and being able to share her love with my children. I always get a little smile on my face every time Jude asks if we can go to see his Arizona Grrmama.  I am glad that my children love her as much as I do!

My mother had a lot to put up with as I was growing up, I know this comes as a surprise but I was a little bit of a headache growing up and we went through many, many, many growing pains together.  The best part of it is that no matter how much I may have tried to push them away or no matter how bad I screwed up my mom was always right there standing by my side loving me and supporting me.  

My mother has been there for me when I would wake up in the middle of then night crying because my legs hurt so bad from growing pains and she also was the one walking around with me outside in the middle of the night because I had croup so bad that we had to try to get out in to the cold air.  My mother dealt with me coming home in jeans that were so big you could have smuggled a family in them and also my multiple, multiple hair colors, piercings and tattoos.  Still no matter what my mother always came to me and told me "I Love You!"

We have had yelling matches in high school about how mean she was and how I was never going to live up to her expectations but here I sit today thankful that she never gave up and had such high expectations for me because I am the man I am today because of my mom.  She is one of the first people I call when things are going tough and she is always there with an open ear and allows me to vent and also will try to make me laugh. I remember when I had my Ostomy surgery in January my mom sat next to my bed and rubbed my arm while I was running a fever and was in pain so I could go to sleep, see even at 31 I needed my mom.   I would not be half the man I am today without my mother.  You can call me a mamma's boy all you want I will always be thankful and attached to my mom.  

Its funny I was listening to a song by Slim Cessna's Auto Club the other day "Children of the Lord" it takes a part from the Sunday School Song.  It has a part in it that goes "Rise and shine and give God the Glory, Glory" and I had to laugh some while singing this because I couldn't do anything but think of my mom singing this to me while I yelled at her to go away while I was trying to sleep!  Thank you mom! I love you more than I could ever tell you!  

How Am I Supposed to Go Swimming?

When I was told that I was going to be getting a permanent Ileostomy I had many questions.  One of those questions was how am I going to go swimming?

I mean really think about it I have a "Bag" attached to my stomach with just adhesive and lets not even go into what it is full of:)  I was so nervous about how am I going to go swimming again.  This was a big thing for me I love swimming and my parents live in Arizona so we go swimming every time we are down there.  Lets be honest who wants to be in Arizona in July and not be in a pool, not this guy!

When I was first told about my Ileostomy I began doing some research on different types of wraps and things that people use to have what they call a "normal" life.  I do wear a wrap every day to keep my Ileostomy closer to my stomach so it doesn't show as much and also makes it easier to wear dress pants but think of this wrap as a tube top that I wear on my stomach.  It more or less holds it there but doesn't do much else from there.  

This is when I stumbled upon an AWESOME company called Stealth Belt (www.stealthbelt.com).  This belt is amazing.  It holds my Ileostomy in a little pouch that is held very tightly against me by Velcro straps.  So it doesn't just cover my Ileostomy it actually holds it while I am doing active things.  Also it is made from the same material as swim suits so I can wear it to go swimming.  How awesome is that.  The other thing that I love about this wrap is that it is much smaller than my day in and day out wrap so when I do have my shirt off for swimming it is not as big of a deal.  

They do make the Stealth Belt in a variety of different styles and also patterns so one can wear it no matter the occasion.  The other thing that I love about my stealth belt, especially as I am now hoping to get back to working out, is that because of its design it also is a hernia support.  This is a huge deal when you have an ostomy.  The Stealth Belt can be found at www.stealthbelt.com and it is easy to measure yourself for it and get it ordered right away.

 

Here is a picture me wearing the Stealth Belt prior to going swimming with Teagan for her swim lessons.  This is an amazing belt and it has made me feel comfortable enough to go swimming again.  I cannot wait to put it to good use this summer when we go to Glenwood Springs with my family and Jude and I go down the water slide together.  

Please pass this information on to anyone you know that has an ostomy or my be facing a future with one.  The more we know the more comfortable we are.  I know this was something that scared me at first when thinking about having a permanent Ileostomy.  

Disclosure:  I was provided with a FREE Stealth Belt in exchange for a product review. However, all the opinions expressed here are my own.

Daughter

Daughter are angels sent from above to fill our heart with unending love. -- J. Lee

Everyone tells you that when you are dad and you have a daughter that they will have you wrapped around their little finger quicker than you ever think.  I am here to confess this little girl has me wrapped around her finger and am a sucker for her smile!  I love being a dad to a son and I love being a dad to a daughter.  It is the most amazing feeling I think that I can ever experience.

If you have ever spent any time with Teagan you know that she is a Firecracker in all senses of the word.  She is very independent and has a troublesome side to her!  I think that she is going to make me go grey very quickly, and you add Jude on that I am hoping to still have hair by the end of the year.  This girl though can also melt my heart at every single little Daddy and Please that she tells me.  She is my little cuddle buddy and we do a lot together.  I enjoy all these little moments that I get to have with her and cannot imagine missing out on any of them.

(Yes that is me doing pigtails in her hair)

I hope that all of these special moments that we have shared together and continue to share together will hold a special place in her heart forever.  

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

Did you know that April is Child Abuse Prevention Month?

Here are some shocking statistics from the CDC report from February 2012

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children.
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 

These statistics are shocking aren't they?  This is something that I see and work with every day of my career and they are saddening to me.  Most of these children do not have a voice or an advocate for them.  You can be that person.  If you feel that abuse or neglect is taking place you can contact the local authorities or Department of Social Services to make a report.  

I think that it is fair to say that there are many friends or maybe even family members that you have had contact with that were victims of abuse or neglect in some way.  Do not assume that it cannot happen within your family or even your community because it can.  

Remember that when a child is brought up in an environment free of Abuse and Neglect that they are more likely to thrive.  When a child is brought up in an environment of Abuse, Neglect, constant stress and unhealthy relationships this affects the child not only physically but can have life long mental and emotional impacts on the child.  

Please continue to educate yourself, your neighborhood, and your community about Child Abuse and Neglect and what we need to be doing to help these children.  It takes a village to raise a child!  If you want a great website to go to get information about child abuse and how you can help please go to www.childabuse.org

Bucket List Yes or No?

Have you seen this story?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/28/kristina-chesterman-donor-bucket-list_n_5051978.html

This story is about a 64 year old woman who received a new heart from an organ donor and now has been in contact with the donor's family.  The organ donor had a bucket list and now the recipient is stating that she is going to finish out her list so that even though the organ donor couldn't her heart will.

This got me thinking I don't have a bucket list.  Do you have one?  What are some of the things that you have on yours?  I will be thinking about doing one and may be posting my bucket list shortly.  I know that this has you on the edge of your seat.  I can't wait to hear all your thoughts and ideas!

Jeremy

Play Ball!

“Never allow the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!”
― Babe Ruth

Yesterday was Opening Day for the 2014 Baseball Season.  Many people it was just another day and they do not care.  For those of us that are huge baseball fans it's the beginning of an up and down season.  It signifies to me the start of spring and the joyous thought that Summer is right around the corner.  Censie is not a huge baseball fan but she puts up with me watching the games.  I am one of those select few that can watch a baseball game from beginning to end on TV without getting board. 

Also this gets me excited to take Jude and Teagan out to Coors Field to watch a Rockies game. We will go and have hot dogs and maybe some popcorn and if the kiddos are good we often times get ice cream.  We don’t just get the cone of ice cream we get the ice cream in the baseball helmet is there any other way to eat ice cream at a baseball game?

Baseball has always been a big part of my life.  I grew up playing and loving the sport, it didn't come 100% naturally to me but then again nothing did when you were 13 years old and almost 6'0" tall but only weighed about 120 lbs, I was awkward to say the least but I still loved getting out and playing baseball.  I spent a lot of time at the little league because my dad was the President of the Little League so if I wanted to see my dad I was there.  I then also umpired as a job and got to help teach some of the younger kids about baseball. 

I grew up going to baseball games with my Father and Grandfather's.  At that time it was the Denver Zephyrs, a minor league team but still loved going.  We even went to a game for my birthday one year.  My silly sister tried to convince me that we were going to a Bronco's game but come on Heidi I knew the sports seasons!   I have a lot of great memories of playing and watching baseball and I know that it can teach you a lot of valuable lessons like neither a slump nor a streak can last forever.  Also anyone can be the hero on any given night. 

Jude is somewhat interested in baseball but does not want to watch the games with me on TV but he does like going to games.  Trust me if either one of them ask me to take them to a game you can guarantee I will be looking for a way to get tickets to the game.  I will not pass on a chance to go watch a game at a stadium.  I hope that this is something that I can share with my children as they get older but if not oh well I will always have my love for Baseball.  

My son likes Princesses you got a problem with that?

So Jude loves watching shows that one might consider a "girly" show or he likes reading books about Fairies and Princesses so what?  The other day we were at a birthday party and he could choose between having a pirate skull tattoo or a fairy tattoo and he chose Tinker Bell and I was right there beside him telling him how cool it was. 

Why is it that boys have to play with trucks and girls have to play with dolls?  I understand that some people believe that there are boy's toys and girl's toys but to this dad I could care less.  I just like to see my children using their imagination.  Jude often times want to play Fairies and say that he is one and I am down for playing Fairies because the imagination that kid has is amazing.

Why should I tell him No we can't do that because that is something girls do.  Or why should I tell my daughter do not play with that car here is a doll to go play with?  I want my children to be happy doing what they are doing and have fun playing I don’t care with what.  I found this good article through EverdayFamily please give it a read www.everydayfamily.com/gender-toys-does-it-really-matter/

I for one will be there doing my daughter's hair and dancing around with her.  If she wants to do daddy's hair when she gets older you bet I will be there.  If she wants to paint my nails I will do it!  If she wants to learn how to work on cars I will be there. I will encourage her to whatever she likes to do as well.  I will play fairies with my son!  I will read about Tinker Bell and the other Fairies and Pixies!  I will play Rocky Ball with son and play football!   I am committed to just being there and being with my children and playing with them.  I am proud of him and his imagination and I cannot wait to see where it takes him!  

Absent!

Yes I am back again and I know that I have been absent for quite some time again.  I really want to keep up with this blog and make sure that it is useful as well I just keep letting life get ahead of me.  This last year has been very rough for my healing and health.  I had my proctocolectomy in January 2013 and have had multiple surgeries since that point.  We had a muscle flap surgery done in December 2013 to hopefully heal the wound but it has not closed completely yet.

I am at about 14 months at this point with an open wound from my Proctocolectomy.  It is hard for me mentally and I continue to struggle daily with this.  Not only for the last month have I been dealing with the open wound but I also have been dealing with packing the wound daily by myself.  Now I could go in and have it done again daily like last year but we know how hard that was financially so we thought we would try it this way.  I am thankful that we are not paying for a visit every day but it is hard mentally for me.

I really would like for this blog to be something that individuals enjoy reading and that I can support other fathers, and other individuals with IBD.  Now I am also part of the Ostomate community so that adds another area where I want this blog to go to.  I will be working on committing more to making sure that blog posts getup and are meaningful. Do you have any suggestions on what you would like me to write about?  I appreciate every one's support and you will be seeing more of me.  

Daddy why do you have a bag?

Dad you have a bag?  This is a question that I hear pretty frequently now a day from my son Jude!  He knows that I have an ileostomy and that I now wear a bag on my stomach.  He always asks why do you have a bag?  I have to explain to him that daddy was sick in his tummy but that this has made daddy feel better.  He then goes into to explain to me that I have poop in my bag.  I am glad he at least knows what is going on with itJ

 

These are the things that you have to deal with sometimes when you are an ostomate and a parent.  It has been a pretty large life change for the past 6 months.  I went in to the hospital on January 9^th for my surgery and I have been living with my "bag" ever since, and will be living with it for the rest of my life. 

 

Physically I have been feeling better up until recently.  My wound had healed to the point that I didn't have to go to the doctor daily anymore on May 16^th, but then in the first week of June I had problems with it. They just thought that it was something minor but I went in on the 12^th of July and the wound has reopened.  We are not sure why but I have to go in daily again to have a nurse pack the wound with dressing.  Let me tell you it is a BLAST!  Not only did this take a hit on my physically but I would say more so emotionally and mentally.  It is hard dealing with this wound that does not appear to be healing.  Overall though physically I am much better.  I am able to go out and do things with everyone without having to worry about being sick.  I do have to worry about bags coming off or leaking oh and the fun alien noises it makes but so far those have been far less common then when I was really sick and in a flair.  It is nice being able to plan to use the bathroom besides having to run to the bathroom while squeezing your butt cheeks together praying to all that is holy that you make it in time!

 

I am able to wrestle around with Jude but he knows that he has to be careful of my tummy because I have a bag.  It is an experience trying to potty train a little boy and living with an ostomy because things are done so much differently than how he does things.  He is just very curious about it but is not shy about telling people about my bag or wanting to see my bag in public, yeah that’s a fun one!

 

Mentally I feel that it has been harder than anything else.  If you have spent much time with me you know that I can be a little obsessive compulsive but I am constantly checking my back to make sure it is not leaking.  It can get annoying for others and for myself.  I also have not been dealing well with the self-esteem pieces. This will come and I know it and I am working with a counselor for it but it is a hard thing to deal with having a "shit bag" attached to your stomach every day.  There are days that I am angry at having to have it but I am trying to remain positive and remember that I am healthier with a bag than I was without one.  Overall the past six months have been an up and down roller coaster at times but I am glad that I can smile with Jude when he walks up and wants to see my bag or says why do you have a bag?  I want a bag too daddy! And I can smile at him and say I hope he doesn't but knowing that love makes it worth it!

Houston We Have a Problem!

AHHHHHH!!!!  We Have a Problem!

 

So many of you may find this to be an odd post but Houston We have a Problem.  JUDE LIKES TO EAT MUSTARD!

 

I'm talking about the kind of mustard that looks like a yellow crayon vomited on his hot dog!

 

 

You know you do everything you can to try and teach your child well and then they go and do something like this.  At least on his hot dog he also enjoyed it with Ketchup and Sweet Relish but I need advice! 

 

How do I handle a mustard lover?  My father was so proud but I am struggling with how do we connect.  I am anti-mustard will this have an impact on our future food bonding?  I mean what is next putting it on hamburgers or sandwich's?  What does a first mustard experience lead to?  There are so many questions I have about what to expect with a child who uses mustard?

 

If you can please send me any experience I would appreciate it! 

 

Ketchup lovers of the world unite!  

The Hospital Must Have Missed Me!

I'M Back In The Hospital!

 

 

As many of you know I have been dealing with the recover from my surgery for the past two months,  This has required me to have a nurse come to my house, and since I have been at work I have had to go into Kaiser every single day to have a wound packed and changed.  There have been ongoing issues.  Most of these issues have been from the nurses not knowing how to pack a wound and doing it incorrectly.

 

My nurse on Saturday packed it wrong and put too much packing in the wound.  With there being too much packing in the wound, the bacteria did not get a chance to come out it just sat there in the wound and they think the bacteria grew into the wound.  So Monday I started to feel very sick and had a fever, chills, and aches.  My doctor then wanted me to come in and we did a CT Scan and blood tests.  After all of those tests he still could not figure out what was going wrong with me exactly so I got admitted to the hospital. 

 

 

When they admitted me they hooked me up to IV antibiotics throughout the day.  Sadly this did not seem to work.  They were pumping the antibiotics but my fever still stuck around and even got worse.  It got all the way up to 102.6 this was not good and I was getting irritated, scared and nervous. 

 

 

Today, Wednesday Morning, my surgeon took me down to surgery and cut the wound open more and then cleaned it out.  Basically he power washed my wound.  He thinks that he was able to find out where the infection was coming from so that is good.  Since I have been back in my room I have feel like my fever was gone but we will just have to wait and see.  I have been here at the hospital since Monday night and looks like I am not going home till Thursday at the earliest.  I think that we are ready to be somewhat normal and not have to deal with all these illnesses.  This one has taken its emotional toll on me and I have had a few breakdowns.  Luckily I have had many people to lean on.  I appreciate every one's support and I will work on keeping up with my blog more and making sure that you all have the most updated information.  Thank you again for everything. 

 



World Meet Gustav, Gustav Meet the World!

Drum roll please..............................

 

 

Ladies and Gentleman..........................

 

 

I am pleased to introduce to you my Ileostomy and Stoma that I have named Gustav!

 

As many of you know I had to go in for a proctocolectemy in January and at this point I have a permanent Ileostomy. 

 

This is something that I am still coming to terms with but I have named it and Gustav just seemed to fit.  A long time ago I had a kid introduce me to his Gerbil who's name was Gustav Thomas.  So when I thought of a name Gustav just came to the front of my mind. 

 

I think that the hard part for me has been the healing, sad to hear huh?  I am still healing and we are almost two months past surgery, and to be honest I was not really prepared for all the healing that I am dealing with but we are almost there.

 

Since having my Ileostomy I have joined many groups on facebook and it seems as though one big step for people is to post a picture of them with their bag.  I get it, we are no longer hiding and we want people to know that this is who we are, and in my case will be for the rest of my life. 

 

My Ileostomy has saved my life and has given my life back to me as well.  I am trying to make sure that I never become ashamed of it.  I will do everything I can from here on out to wear my bag with pride and honor because the scars show the fight that I gave for so long before having this surgery.  So without further ado I present to you Gustav!

 

 



Recovery? This Is Supposed To Be Easy Right?

Recovery?

 

So I am finally getting around to writing this post.  I don't know why but this has been one of the hardest posts to write.  I think that it is because I am having to go through everything again and think about all that I went through in the hospital. 

 

Hopefully you have already read my post http://ibddaddyandme.blogspot.com/2013/02/proctocolectomy-whats-that.html about my proctocolectemy surgery.  The surgery was only supposed to last 6-7 hours, but I can never do anything as planned so I went for 9-10 hours.  After the surgery the fun began, well I guess from what I can remember.  They had to place me in ICU right after my surgery because my heart rate was going sky high.  Now this is all information that has been told to me because I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT!!!!

 

So I spent the night in ICU and then the next day as well.  Censie has told me that my mother came in and was talking to me and I asked her what time it was. She told me that it was noon and I told her that People's Court was on, how did I know that and how do I not remember watching People's Court in the ICU.  The only thing that I really remember about ICU was that they finally got me a normal room.  The only problem was I was on an ICU bed so I had to move beds, remember I had only been out of surgery for about 24 hours.  Trust me there were plenty of choice words that were said while we were moving from bed to bed.

 

 

So I finally got up to my normal room and was trying to get going on everything.  The next day I started on clear liquids and was up trying to move and walk  My parents were impressed with how far I was walking right after surgery.  I thought wow we are doing well and we are going to have a smooth road ahead with this recovery, stupid brain!  I did not have that smooth road ahead sadly.  Saturday I was so excited because my kiddos were coming up to see me for the first time, after not seeing them since Wednesday morning this was going to be awesome!  Once again nothing can go as planned.  I had been working on eating clear liquid, Jude had brought me some balloons to make me feel better.  Luckily he was distracted because the clear liquids did not sit well.  I asked for a bucket but sadly no one could find one in time and I vomited all over myself. 

 

So sadly at this point we had to rush Jude out of the room at that point so I could get cleaned up and he had to go home.  Then later in the evening the right side of my face started to swell up.  So they were concerned with an infection or an abscess in my face.  All great things to think about while sitting in the hospital.  So they then had to take me down for a CT Scan on my face.  This was all fine I wanted to see what was going on but again had to change beds, and then when they were bringing me back they took me to the wrong room I had to remind them what room I was in!  So luckily it was not the scary things that we had been talking about but my saliva gland shut down, come on can I catch a break.  So at this point I was running a pretty high fever kept feeling sick to my stomach and felt pretty horrible.  I remember my mom sitting by my bed until almost midnight just holding my hand because I felt so sick.

 

So now we are to Sunday, see what I am talking about I had a great time.  Sunday was a sad day because my parents were leaving to head back home that day.  I continued to try and get up and walk so that I could do as much as possible and hopefully be able to go home as soon as possible.  The problem was that every time that I would eat something I would be sick to my stomach.  The had been giving me antibiotics as well to help with the swelling in my face and trying to get the saliva gland to start working as well.  I was told by my doctor that with these types of surgeries that the small intestine goes to sleep and has to wake up to start processing the fluids into my bag.  They were thinking that mine small intestine was still asleep, so again got up walking trying to make it wake up and start working.

 

Monday then came and I continued to try and eat items and continued to try and walk.  I was trying to be the model patient and was trying to do everything I could to make this work.  The doctors talked to me about putting in an NG tube, which is a tube that goes in through your nose and sucks all the fluid out of your stomach, fun I know but we decided not to do that yet.  However I continued to vomit and get sick to my stomach on Monday.  So then came Tuesday, I had a very small say in it but we decided to put the NG Tube in.  If you have never had an NG Tube placed please pray that you never have to have it done.  This was an experience that I never wanted to have and pray I never have to again.  So while you are awake you have a tube placed down your nose and you have to keep trying to swallow while the keep pushing.  So the problem with this is that I had a ton of fluid built up on my stomach from the prior two days with eating and drinking fluid.  So as you can imagine fluid on your stomach and being gagged does not work out well.  I feel extremely sorry for the two nurses, because I vomited twice all over them!  This was a little embarrassing.  They got it in luckily and started taking the fluid off, I felt a ton better but still shocked that this took place. 

 

So I have never shared this picture I hated it but you can see the fun of the NG tube and also the swelling in my face.

 

So the problem with an NG Tube is that you do not get to eat or drink anything while it is in.  So from Tuesday to Saturday it was pretty much the same thing. Sitting around, napping, visiting, trying to walk as much as possible, and not thinking about eating or drinking.  I was lucky though the did give me a wet washcloth to wipe the inside of my mouth out because it was so dry but they would take it away right away so that I didn't suck the water out of it.  So with having this NG Tube put in I had a PICC Line put in which is an IV but goes into a Large Vein in my chest.  The reason that this was put in was because they then gave me what they call TPN, which as my nurses tried to tell me is steak in bag.  It gave me all the nutrition that I needed. 

 

Luckily they then did allow me to start eating lemon drops so that the sour would hopefully help my saliva gland would hopefully start working.  So then they turned off the NG tube and I was allowed to start drinking items again and the best part was that my stoma started producing and my Ostomy was working!  This was awesome news because finally the whole reason we did the surgery was beginning to work!  So then on Saturday they took the NG Tube out, this was not fun either.  I got very little warning they just took the tape off and then pulled, I could not believe what just happened to me but was so thankful to have it out.  I then started eating food and then by Monday I was getting discharged from the hospital.  I am amazed at how much the NG Tube helped my healing and if I had known it was going to do that then I would have done it sooner.    So this is my story of my hospital stay but in the end it worked out well and I was able to come home with "Gustav" the stoma.  Thank you for taking the time to read this as well as every one's ongoing support!