I am not a babysitter!

Jokingly today after seeing this as a post on my wife's Facebook post I said that I wanted to be part of The Baby-Sitters club as a child. I had an older sister who read all the books. Her friends talked about being part of the club with Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacey (I did have to google the names I promise).

I thought it sounded cool to be part of a club. I was told by my sister I couldn't be part of the club, it's okay Heidi I love you and you put up with your annoying little brother tagging along a lot, so I'm sorry for bringing this up but I had to. 

As I got older I was able to babysit a couple of times, it was not always the most pleasant experience. I was glad to see someone calling out the statement that we are babysitting our own children. We as husbands, fathers, wives, mothers and humans have to stop diminishing our role as a parent and a father. 

It's a series of odd circumstances but I am actually very good friends with one of my old babysitters. I am so happy she is a friend and have the utmost respect for her but to be honest I remember nothing about her as a babysitter. There is a reason for that. Babysitters are individuals who are paid to provide care for another person's children. They are short term caregivers. They should not be a replacement for a parent, and parents should not act only as a babysitter. 

As a father I will never make this statement about my children. My children, even though they can drive me crazy like tonight, they are my world. I am their father. I care for them, feed them, dance with them, laugh with them and hold them when they cry. I love spending time with friends, but I will also choose my children over going out for a night. 

I am not saying I'm perfect by any means, I know I actually need to take more time for self care. It's something I'm working on. However I also love making memories with my two goofballs. We put on a record and dance, we ride bikes, and we check out bugs. I encourage every parent to embrace this experience we call parenthood. It is a tough journey and often times I feel like I've made a wrong turn or my map is wrong, however I love this journey and am making some awesome memories. No matter what though I love being a parent. 

Please let us stop deminishing our roles as parents, mothers or fathers and the influence we have in our children. Be present and be a parent and not just someone filling a spot to watch your children. I for one will always do my best to be the best parent I can be to my children. 

*this is not my picture I did use it after seeing it on Facebook. If you know who's it is please let me know so I can give credit. Thank you. 

I can't believe I just said that!!!

I can honestly say that I had one of the biggest foot in my mouth moment as a parent this weekend.  Now there have been plenty of moments where I have caught myself saying something in front of the children that I shouldn't but this was different. 

I caught myself (or should I say I was caught by Censie, and appropriately called out by her) this weekend.  We were in the car driving around and Jude was playing how many questions can I ask in one car ride, which he is a professional at by the way, and began to worry about something.  To be honest I cannot even remember what he was worried about but it was another worry in a long string of worries.  Without even thinking I just told him "Jude you really have to stop worrying so much."

This is when the epic call out was initiated by Censie.  Yes she was completely just in calling me out.  I mean me the worrier who will worry about anything and will drive myself absolutely crazy because of my anxiety just told my anxious five year to stop worrying.  It is sad actually because I am a person that is very anxious and can turn the smallest thing into the biggest catastrophe in my head within seconds.  If someone told me to stop worrying I would be very upset and try to explain to them that I wish I could but I just can't, yet I expected my son to be able to in that instant just turn his brain off and stop worrying. 

I am hoping that I can teach him better than this.  I want him to be okay with who he is, even if that person deals with the same extreme anxiety that I do.  I want him to be able to understand what is going on within his head and to learn coping skills so he can be comfortable handling the situation.  I know one can not just turn it off but this comment came out in a time of frustration.  The hard part for me is controlling my own anxiety when Jude gets anxious.  It's a vicious cycle he gets anxious and then that makes my anxiety go up  and then I get frustrated.  I will work on my anxiety continually, but as stated I hope I can help him with his.

If you are dealing with a child who has anxiety here is an article I found helpful through Psychology Today:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-worry-mom/201302/12-tips-reduce-your-childs-stress-and-anxiety