I can't believe I just said that!!!

I can honestly say that I had one of the biggest foot in my mouth moment as a parent this weekend.  Now there have been plenty of moments where I have caught myself saying something in front of the children that I shouldn't but this was different. 

I caught myself (or should I say I was caught by Censie, and appropriately called out by her) this weekend.  We were in the car driving around and Jude was playing how many questions can I ask in one car ride, which he is a professional at by the way, and began to worry about something.  To be honest I cannot even remember what he was worried about but it was another worry in a long string of worries.  Without even thinking I just told him "Jude you really have to stop worrying so much."

This is when the epic call out was initiated by Censie.  Yes she was completely just in calling me out.  I mean me the worrier who will worry about anything and will drive myself absolutely crazy because of my anxiety just told my anxious five year to stop worrying.  It is sad actually because I am a person that is very anxious and can turn the smallest thing into the biggest catastrophe in my head within seconds.  If someone told me to stop worrying I would be very upset and try to explain to them that I wish I could but I just can't, yet I expected my son to be able to in that instant just turn his brain off and stop worrying. 

I am hoping that I can teach him better than this.  I want him to be okay with who he is, even if that person deals with the same extreme anxiety that I do.  I want him to be able to understand what is going on within his head and to learn coping skills so he can be comfortable handling the situation.  I know one can not just turn it off but this comment came out in a time of frustration.  The hard part for me is controlling my own anxiety when Jude gets anxious.  It's a vicious cycle he gets anxious and then that makes my anxiety go up  and then I get frustrated.  I will work on my anxiety continually, but as stated I hope I can help him with his.

If you are dealing with a child who has anxiety here is an article I found helpful through Psychology Today:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-worry-mom/201302/12-tips-reduce-your-childs-stress-and-anxiety

Success in the face of anxiety!

Anxiety!

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (http://www.adaa.org/) there are about 40 million adults in the United States living with anxiety.  I am one of those 40 Million and I am pretty sure that my son will be one of those as well.  Anxiety can be very mild but it can also be to the point where it consumes your entire being.  

I want to preface this post with the fact that my son has never formally been diagnosed with anxiety but he is only 5 years old.  That being said we know that I have been diagnosed with sever anxiety, this became fully apparent as I was dealing with my Ulcerative Colitis diagnosis and my ileostomy surgery.  Often times I see so much of myself in Jude and his behaviors.  The downfall to all of this is that you can see Jude getting anxious in many situations and that just sends my anxiety into a downward spiral as well and I am still learning to handle this.  

I was so proud of him this weekend and all of the things that he was able to accomplish despite his anxiety.  Jude has been in Tae Kwon Do for quite some time now and has been doing pretty well.  Just recently they moved him up to a more advanced class.  In this class he is the youngest one in his class, and this has been a struggle for him.  Also if you have ever met my son he likes to talk all the time, I know there are many parents who say this, but seriously the child never stops talking.  

This weekend he had to complete his first testing in his higher level class.  This made me anxious because its a TEST.  That word in and of itself causes anxiety.  The class went through all the pieces that he was going to be tested on and it was a lot of information.  They told us that he had to complete the first 14 moves of a form by himself.  This was something I was very concerned that he was not going to be able to complete.  He had to know the form as well as piece them together and complete them in sequence .  This also was going to be done in front of many other students and parents.  

We practiced many times and worked very hard.  Despite all the preparation you could see the anxiety building and it all came out on Friday.  I had been out on a business trip and when I returned I asked him if he wanted to practice because we had to make sure we were ready and out came the tears.  He was so nervous and anxious the only way he could express it was having multiple huge tantrums.  I honestly had my doubts and was worried that he wasn't going to move up.  

With all of that being said though we woke up Saturday morning and went to his testing.  We were one of the first ones there and did a couple of run-throughs and then came the moment that he was out there on the floor and he was in control of how everything went.  I was a wreck, I was nervous, and I was horribly anxious.  Jude however stepped up to the plate went out there and KILLED IT!  He went out with his class and stepped up to the challenge and completed every move.  I was so proud  of him.  I cannot express how excited I was to see him succeed.  He worked hard and was able to control his brain as we describe it and succeeded.  I hope that this is the first of many successes for him, however I know that all of his successes are going to come with many challenges but we will work through it and I know we will learn from each other.  There are many more celebratory Slurpees to come!

Here he is with his new belt and our Slurpee!  I am so proud of you Jude!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!

I hope that everyone had a great Holiday season and a great Christmas.  I have to be the first one to say that our family was extreme blessed this holiday season.  The main reason for that is being able to be together with each other.  To me this is the best gift that I could ever receive.

I am a sucker when it comes to traditions, and it has been interesting developing new traditions with my own family.  I will admit though I miss having my parents here to celebrate those traditions but thanks to technology we get to have time with them.  Our family is very lucky though that we do have my wife's parents just down the street from us and they have been a huge part of our lives and the kids lives.  

We started this Christmas off by going to church with our family.  The kids got all dressed up and were good kids during the service.  I am a sucker for Silent Night by candlelight in the church.  There is something special about this son and singing it on Christmas Eve. We sadly had to break away from our normal tradition of going to Texas Roadhouse for dinner, it was a two hour wait, but we went to dinner and had some good conversation.  We also had a great time tracking Santa, thank you NORAD, and finding where he was going next.  

After a great evening with family the kiddos left out cookies, carrots, and milk out for Santa.  They put on their Christmas Eve pajamas that the elves brought and headed to bed.  After a little while the little elves got around to helping Santa.  I spent three nights earlier in the week building all the gifts so that I didn't have to do it on Christmas Eve, thank goodness I had the time to do that otherwise I am pretty sure I wouldn't have slept, as it happens I got very little sleep as it is.  Jude was so excited he woke up almost ever two hours to ask if we could open presents.  The kids were very excited to see the gifts that were out for them. 

The kids made quick work of all their presents, they are expert unwrappers.  I don't know where they get this talent but they have perfected it.  We opened presents at home then went to grandma and grandpa's opened more presents then had Christmas lunch.  The kiddos did well despite being completely exhausted and over stimulated.  I was a proud dad!  We were able to talk to our family in Amsterdam and Grandma, Grandpa, and Great Grandma in Arizona.  Again thank goodness for technology and Skype!!

Jude challenged me to his Rock em' Sock em' Robots, and I have a ringer in the family.  He was an expert but we had a great time and have played a couple more times since last night already.  We even had a white Christmas!  People think that this happens every Christmas in Colorado but is is not!  

I hope that you had a great Christmas and got everything that you wanted and needed.  I look forward to sharing more and more with everyone in the upcoming year.  Here is to a happy and healthy 2016!!!

Mom, Mother, Moeder, Mutter, Madre, and Maman!

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

Mark Twain

No matter how you say it she is my mom and I am thankful for her.  She has been my best friend and a rock for my whole life and now I get the pleasure of seeing her as a grandmother and being able to share her love with my children. I always get a little smile on my face every time Jude asks if we can go to see his Arizona Grrmama.  I am glad that my children love her as much as I do!

My mother had a lot to put up with as I was growing up, I know this comes as a surprise but I was a little bit of a headache growing up and we went through many, many, many growing pains together.  The best part of it is that no matter how much I may have tried to push them away or no matter how bad I screwed up my mom was always right there standing by my side loving me and supporting me.  

My mother has been there for me when I would wake up in the middle of then night crying because my legs hurt so bad from growing pains and she also was the one walking around with me outside in the middle of the night because I had croup so bad that we had to try to get out in to the cold air.  My mother dealt with me coming home in jeans that were so big you could have smuggled a family in them and also my multiple, multiple hair colors, piercings and tattoos.  Still no matter what my mother always came to me and told me "I Love You!"

We have had yelling matches in high school about how mean she was and how I was never going to live up to her expectations but here I sit today thankful that she never gave up and had such high expectations for me because I am the man I am today because of my mom.  She is one of the first people I call when things are going tough and she is always there with an open ear and allows me to vent and also will try to make me laugh. I remember when I had my Ostomy surgery in January my mom sat next to my bed and rubbed my arm while I was running a fever and was in pain so I could go to sleep, see even at 31 I needed my mom.   I would not be half the man I am today without my mother.  You can call me a mamma's boy all you want I will always be thankful and attached to my mom.  

Its funny I was listening to a song by Slim Cessna's Auto Club the other day "Children of the Lord" it takes a part from the Sunday School Song.  It has a part in it that goes "Rise and shine and give God the Glory, Glory" and I had to laugh some while singing this because I couldn't do anything but think of my mom singing this to me while I yelled at her to go away while I was trying to sleep!  Thank you mom! I love you more than I could ever tell you!  

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

Did you know that April is Child Abuse Prevention Month?

Here are some shocking statistics from the CDC report from February 2012

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children.
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 

These statistics are shocking aren't they?  This is something that I see and work with every day of my career and they are saddening to me.  Most of these children do not have a voice or an advocate for them.  You can be that person.  If you feel that abuse or neglect is taking place you can contact the local authorities or Department of Social Services to make a report.  

I think that it is fair to say that there are many friends or maybe even family members that you have had contact with that were victims of abuse or neglect in some way.  Do not assume that it cannot happen within your family or even your community because it can.  

Remember that when a child is brought up in an environment free of Abuse and Neglect that they are more likely to thrive.  When a child is brought up in an environment of Abuse, Neglect, constant stress and unhealthy relationships this affects the child not only physically but can have life long mental and emotional impacts on the child.  

Please continue to educate yourself, your neighborhood, and your community about Child Abuse and Neglect and what we need to be doing to help these children.  It takes a village to raise a child!  If you want a great website to go to get information about child abuse and how you can help please go to www.childabuse.org

Bucket List Yes or No?

Have you seen this story?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/28/kristina-chesterman-donor-bucket-list_n_5051978.html

This story is about a 64 year old woman who received a new heart from an organ donor and now has been in contact with the donor's family.  The organ donor had a bucket list and now the recipient is stating that she is going to finish out her list so that even though the organ donor couldn't her heart will.

This got me thinking I don't have a bucket list.  Do you have one?  What are some of the things that you have on yours?  I will be thinking about doing one and may be posting my bucket list shortly.  I know that this has you on the edge of your seat.  I can't wait to hear all your thoughts and ideas!

Jeremy