Tae Kwon Do

I cannot remember how many times I asked my mom while I was growing up to let me do Karate.  Lets be honest a lot of this (as it probably is with Jude) came from TMNT or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the movies Karate Kid, Sidekicks, and 3 Ninjas.  So in traditional kid fashion I asked all the time and then my mom would always respond in traditional parent fashion "No" and when pushed she would say "Because I said so". 

I do not know all of my mom's thoughts but I believe she told me several times that I couldn't take Karate because she didn't want me to fight or punch others.  Until I was a parent I never understood this thought.  I mean all I wanted to do was to do the awesome kicks, flips and break a board.  What kid doesn't watch a video of someone breaking a board with their hand or head and think they can do that.  I am pretty sure that there were multiple attempts at trying it as well.  None of those attempts were successful but luckily no serious injuries were sustained besides a big lump on the head.  

So lets fast forward to present time when Jude came up to us and asked to do Karate.  I am pretty sure that I had the very same thought as my mom.  No you cannot do that I am continually yelling to stop punching things and you want me to send you to a class that teaches you how to punch things.  I was very nervous to put him in any type of martial arts.  I must admit the reason that I was so nervous was due to my lack of knowledge.  I will be the first one to say that I am glad I did my research and took the time to educate myself.  

I took the kids to the Thornton Fest and Jude won a month of free lessons of Tae Kwon Do.  Again my ignorance showed off because I thought that all forms of martial arts were basically the same, I was so wrong.  We figured that this would be a good time for Jude to try Tae Kwon Do to see if he even liked it, little did I know how well he would do and how much he would enjoy it.  We went for our welcome night and he was very nervous to get out there but he did and he was hooked.  We have been going for about 6 months now and I am so amazed at the progress that he has made and how great it has been for him. 

Jude is built the same way I was at his age.  Tall and completely uncoordinated.  We will just be walking and the the next thing I know Jude is down on the ground.  Tae Kwon Do has helped him with his coordination so much.  He has been learning how to control his body.  He has to learn how to watch the instructor and copy the form.  The forms often time require them to do multiple moves with their hands and feet at the same time.  Yes it involves punches and kicks but it focuses completely on control as well.  The instructors will many times that you have to be able to control your body in order to control your mind.

I have to say I am so impressed with how well they are doing with him and would recommend martial arts to everyone.  I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I have but seeing the look on his face when he accomplishes a new form or gets a new belt.  I cannot wait to see how far he goes with this and will encourage him the entire way.  I am no expert but I am learning and showing him the enthusiasm that he needs, isn't that what every child needs?

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

Did you know that April is Child Abuse Prevention Month?

Here are some shocking statistics from the CDC report from February 2012

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children.
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 

These statistics are shocking aren't they?  This is something that I see and work with every day of my career and they are saddening to me.  Most of these children do not have a voice or an advocate for them.  You can be that person.  If you feel that abuse or neglect is taking place you can contact the local authorities or Department of Social Services to make a report.  

I think that it is fair to say that there are many friends or maybe even family members that you have had contact with that were victims of abuse or neglect in some way.  Do not assume that it cannot happen within your family or even your community because it can.  

Remember that when a child is brought up in an environment free of Abuse and Neglect that they are more likely to thrive.  When a child is brought up in an environment of Abuse, Neglect, constant stress and unhealthy relationships this affects the child not only physically but can have life long mental and emotional impacts on the child.  

Please continue to educate yourself, your neighborhood, and your community about Child Abuse and Neglect and what we need to be doing to help these children.  It takes a village to raise a child!  If you want a great website to go to get information about child abuse and how you can help please go to www.childabuse.org

Daddy why do you have a bag?

Dad you have a bag?  This is a question that I hear pretty frequently now a day from my son Jude!  He knows that I have an ileostomy and that I now wear a bag on my stomach.  He always asks why do you have a bag?  I have to explain to him that daddy was sick in his tummy but that this has made daddy feel better.  He then goes into to explain to me that I have poop in my bag.  I am glad he at least knows what is going on with itJ

 

These are the things that you have to deal with sometimes when you are an ostomate and a parent.  It has been a pretty large life change for the past 6 months.  I went in to the hospital on January 9^th for my surgery and I have been living with my "bag" ever since, and will be living with it for the rest of my life. 

 

Physically I have been feeling better up until recently.  My wound had healed to the point that I didn't have to go to the doctor daily anymore on May 16^th, but then in the first week of June I had problems with it. They just thought that it was something minor but I went in on the 12^th of July and the wound has reopened.  We are not sure why but I have to go in daily again to have a nurse pack the wound with dressing.  Let me tell you it is a BLAST!  Not only did this take a hit on my physically but I would say more so emotionally and mentally.  It is hard dealing with this wound that does not appear to be healing.  Overall though physically I am much better.  I am able to go out and do things with everyone without having to worry about being sick.  I do have to worry about bags coming off or leaking oh and the fun alien noises it makes but so far those have been far less common then when I was really sick and in a flair.  It is nice being able to plan to use the bathroom besides having to run to the bathroom while squeezing your butt cheeks together praying to all that is holy that you make it in time!

 

I am able to wrestle around with Jude but he knows that he has to be careful of my tummy because I have a bag.  It is an experience trying to potty train a little boy and living with an ostomy because things are done so much differently than how he does things.  He is just very curious about it but is not shy about telling people about my bag or wanting to see my bag in public, yeah that’s a fun one!

 

Mentally I feel that it has been harder than anything else.  If you have spent much time with me you know that I can be a little obsessive compulsive but I am constantly checking my back to make sure it is not leaking.  It can get annoying for others and for myself.  I also have not been dealing well with the self-esteem pieces. This will come and I know it and I am working with a counselor for it but it is a hard thing to deal with having a "shit bag" attached to your stomach every day.  There are days that I am angry at having to have it but I am trying to remain positive and remember that I am healthier with a bag than I was without one.  Overall the past six months have been an up and down roller coaster at times but I am glad that I can smile with Jude when he walks up and wants to see my bag or says why do you have a bag?  I want a bag too daddy! And I can smile at him and say I hope he doesn't but knowing that love makes it worth it!

You Know You're a Parent When.......

You know you're a parent when...

you voluntarily will put your hands out to catch another person's vomit!  I never thought that this would be something that I would ever do, nor did I ever have the desire to do. 

Last night after we had a fun time at Zoo Lights we went to go eat and Jude got sick while we were eating. He has done this before but he was able to start feeling better, or so he told us, and we made the mistake of allowing him to eat more.  Now Censie had been sick all Saturday with a stomach bug but we did not think that Jude was sick.  He ate some food and we left.

On our way home he started complaining that his stomach hurt.  I found a place to pull over but then he said that he was feeling better. We got going again trying to make it home as soon as possible, you know trying to prevent the puking in the car fiasco.  We made it about five more minutes and he said that his stomach hurt again. I pulled over and got a paper bag and tried to get him to aim in the bag.  FYI a paper bag and vomit do not work well seeing how vomit is mostly water!! 

Jude ended up getting sick and without any other options I cupped my hands and tried to catch as much of the vomit in my hands to prevent it from getting on him.  It was a pretty useless attempt but I do have to say it was an attempt to help out.  This again is something that I never thought I would do but as a parent sometimes you just have to open your hands and let your child vomit!  I guess I got my initiation into dealing with a sick toddler as well!