Am I Less of a Man?

I found this Meme online the other day and it struck me.

Some is going to have to tell Censie that she has a girlfriend!!!!!

That is right I am almost 33 years old and I have never fired a gun.  I have shot a paintball gun, a pellet gun, a BB gun and an airsoft gun but I have never fired a actual gun before. I have had detectives and law enforcement officers that I work with give me a hard time and tell me that I need to go and learn and that I should get my carry and conceal permit due to the line of work I am in but I don't know to actually shoot a gun.

Does this make me less of a man than someone who has shot a gun?  Am I a woman because I haven't fired a firearm before?  

Please tell me why you have to fire a gun to be a man?  There are many times that I feel very manly but none of them ever have to do with shooting a firearm.  My father was not a hunter we fished.  My grandfather was a hunter and he said that he was going to take me Pheasant hunting but he died before that ever happened.  Censie's grandpa had firearms in his house being on a ranch but when I met him I never went shooting with him or saw him shoot.  I know that he knew how to and still did it wasn't something that we did together though.

I feel that my family was one of those families who were never really into guns and we didn't have avid hunters in our family so it wasn't something that we did together.  I also at this point do not have the desire to learn how to field dress a dead animal, I can clean the guts out of a fish but that is as far I want to go.  I do not like this opinion that you are less of a man if you do not own a gun.  So should I start prepping Jude that he doesn't have a real man as a father because I do not own a gun or know how to shoot a gun?

I have thought about taking gun safety classes and learning some about them as Jude is getting older he does have a fascination with guns, this is a typical boy thing but I have not decided yet.  I know that family members do have guns and have talked to them about when Jude comes over that they need to be locked up and put away so that the children do not have access to them.  This is family though what about friends?  I guess I will be okay knowing that I am considered by some as a woman because I have not fired a gun before.  

Best Father's Day Present!

So I was recently approached by The Dollar Shave Club ( www.dollarshaveclub.com) to write a blog post for the best Father's Day present that I have received at this point.  This was a hard choice both of my children are still pretty young, and I do have to say being a father to them is the best present ever (ok insert sappy music) but its the truth.

I have loved spending every day with them but I did come up with some things that I wanted to share with everyone.

The first one that came to mind was my first father's day, ok technically Jude was not born yet but he was coming.  Jude was due on July 10th, so right after Father's Day.  Censie surprised me with tickets to the Boston Red Sox game when they were playing against the Colorado Rockies.  

Now the game that she bought tickets to were on June 23rd, we had plenty of time right?  I was so happy I am a huge Red Sox fan and this was my first opportunity to see them play live.  We went to the game that night, Censie had to do quite a bit of walking that night.  She later told me that she probably started labor that night.  The next day on the 24th labor started and Jude was born on June 25th.  He waited just long enough for me to be able to go to the game and it is an awesome memory that I have about that game and his birth.

The next gift that I could think of was my most recent Father's day gift.  I got a can full of Swedish Fish.  Now you probably are wondering why is that so special they are just little red fish?  I love them!  Jude at an early age caught me eating one while we were at his grandma's house and kept asking me for one.  As he got older i started sharing one with him when I pick him up from Grandma's house if he has a good day.  We get to go get a fish to eat.

Now Teagan has picked up on it.  As soon as I walk in the door to pick them up she starts making a fish sound and saying fishy and walks to the kitchen where they are kept.  It makes me so happy to see her light up when we get to share in this special treat.  So I will be sharing my Swedish Fish with them, but please don't ask for one unless you are Jude and Teagan I don't share my Swedish Fish. 

This just goes to show that there are some amazing large gifts but it can also be about a small jar of candy. I am just very blessed that I get to spend my Father's day with the two most amazing kiddos ever!

This post was introduced to me through Dollar Shave Club.  Dollar shave club is a subscription shave club.   Please go to www.dollarshaveclub.com to check them out.  This is a great idea for a father's day present if you want them to keep a clean shave:)

This blogger was in no way compensated for this post.  

Up, Up and Away!

Jude's 4th Birthday is coming up and I am trying to figure out if this is a good birthday present that I want to get him.

I want to get him a model rocket kit!

I spent a ton of time as a child building these rockets and sending them to the sky and being amazed that I launched a rocket.  Jude is really into science and I think that this could be a fun thing to do with him and we have a huge park next to our house, a perfect launching spot.

I have looked into these and they say that they are meant for children ages 10 and up but I think that with me doing it with him it could be a fun learning experience for him.  What do you think?  Do you think that this is an appropriate gift for a 4 year old? 

I Can Never Participate in the Greatest Joke Ever Again!!!

This has to be one of the worst realizations I have had since I became an Ostomate in January 2013.  Due to having a stoma that produces gas and does it whenever it wants.  You know like while you are sitting in a a group of professionals and it is dead silent and Gustav the stoma lets one rip.  I have no control over this any more which means I can never be the father or grandfather that does the "Pull My Finger" joke.  Please allow me a moment of silence while I morn over this.  Thank you!

Mom, Mother, Moeder, Mutter, Madre, and Maman!

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

Mark Twain

No matter how you say it she is my mom and I am thankful for her.  She has been my best friend and a rock for my whole life and now I get the pleasure of seeing her as a grandmother and being able to share her love with my children. I always get a little smile on my face every time Jude asks if we can go to see his Arizona Grrmama.  I am glad that my children love her as much as I do!

My mother had a lot to put up with as I was growing up, I know this comes as a surprise but I was a little bit of a headache growing up and we went through many, many, many growing pains together.  The best part of it is that no matter how much I may have tried to push them away or no matter how bad I screwed up my mom was always right there standing by my side loving me and supporting me.  

My mother has been there for me when I would wake up in the middle of then night crying because my legs hurt so bad from growing pains and she also was the one walking around with me outside in the middle of the night because I had croup so bad that we had to try to get out in to the cold air.  My mother dealt with me coming home in jeans that were so big you could have smuggled a family in them and also my multiple, multiple hair colors, piercings and tattoos.  Still no matter what my mother always came to me and told me "I Love You!"

We have had yelling matches in high school about how mean she was and how I was never going to live up to her expectations but here I sit today thankful that she never gave up and had such high expectations for me because I am the man I am today because of my mom.  She is one of the first people I call when things are going tough and she is always there with an open ear and allows me to vent and also will try to make me laugh. I remember when I had my Ostomy surgery in January my mom sat next to my bed and rubbed my arm while I was running a fever and was in pain so I could go to sleep, see even at 31 I needed my mom.   I would not be half the man I am today without my mother.  You can call me a mamma's boy all you want I will always be thankful and attached to my mom.  

Its funny I was listening to a song by Slim Cessna's Auto Club the other day "Children of the Lord" it takes a part from the Sunday School Song.  It has a part in it that goes "Rise and shine and give God the Glory, Glory" and I had to laugh some while singing this because I couldn't do anything but think of my mom singing this to me while I yelled at her to go away while I was trying to sleep!  Thank you mom! I love you more than I could ever tell you!  

National Teacher's Day!

Today is National Teacher's Day so I would like to send a huge THANK YOU to all the amazing teacher's out there.  I have never been a great student.  I did not enjoy doing school work and I struggled in school.  People find it amazing that I had a better GPA in college, especially after I got married, but I had someone (Censie) pushing me to do the best that I was capable of.  

I was thinking today on who one of my favorite teachers was and it was an easy decision for me.  David Nykirk at Rangeview High School was probably the most influential teacher in my life.  Sadly I saw that he just passed away after a long battle with cancer this year.

Mr. Nykirk made me laugh and made learning fun.  I had him as a teacher for several classes and his sense of humor was amazing.  He always made a rule at the beginning of his class that if he had a heart attack to pick him up and carry him out of the building before trying to resuscitate him because he said that he didn't want to die in the school.  He also was my teacher for Greek Mythology and he would not let us say sex because we were in school so we had to say that the gods were holding hands.

Not only was his humor amazing but also his ability to push me to succeed.  I remember I turned in a paper to him and he read it and then gave it back to me laughing.  He told me that I had no reason to turn in a piece of shit like that because I was capable of much more.  For some reason that struck me because he didn't sugar coat it he just had higher expectations for me and wanted me to meet those.  

So again today to all my friends and family who have been teachers I say thank you and please continue to push our kids to do the best that they can.  I cannot wait to see how teachers are going to handle our kiddos!  Be prepared!!!  

How Am I Supposed to Go Swimming?

When I was told that I was going to be getting a permanent Ileostomy I had many questions.  One of those questions was how am I going to go swimming?

I mean really think about it I have a "Bag" attached to my stomach with just adhesive and lets not even go into what it is full of:)  I was so nervous about how am I going to go swimming again.  This was a big thing for me I love swimming and my parents live in Arizona so we go swimming every time we are down there.  Lets be honest who wants to be in Arizona in July and not be in a pool, not this guy!

When I was first told about my Ileostomy I began doing some research on different types of wraps and things that people use to have what they call a "normal" life.  I do wear a wrap every day to keep my Ileostomy closer to my stomach so it doesn't show as much and also makes it easier to wear dress pants but think of this wrap as a tube top that I wear on my stomach.  It more or less holds it there but doesn't do much else from there.  

This is when I stumbled upon an AWESOME company called Stealth Belt (www.stealthbelt.com).  This belt is amazing.  It holds my Ileostomy in a little pouch that is held very tightly against me by Velcro straps.  So it doesn't just cover my Ileostomy it actually holds it while I am doing active things.  Also it is made from the same material as swim suits so I can wear it to go swimming.  How awesome is that.  The other thing that I love about this wrap is that it is much smaller than my day in and day out wrap so when I do have my shirt off for swimming it is not as big of a deal.  

They do make the Stealth Belt in a variety of different styles and also patterns so one can wear it no matter the occasion.  The other thing that I love about my stealth belt, especially as I am now hoping to get back to working out, is that because of its design it also is a hernia support.  This is a huge deal when you have an ostomy.  The Stealth Belt can be found at www.stealthbelt.com and it is easy to measure yourself for it and get it ordered right away.

 

Here is a picture me wearing the Stealth Belt prior to going swimming with Teagan for her swim lessons.  This is an amazing belt and it has made me feel comfortable enough to go swimming again.  I cannot wait to put it to good use this summer when we go to Glenwood Springs with my family and Jude and I go down the water slide together.  

Please pass this information on to anyone you know that has an ostomy or my be facing a future with one.  The more we know the more comfortable we are.  I know this was something that scared me at first when thinking about having a permanent Ileostomy.  

Disclosure:  I was provided with a FREE Stealth Belt in exchange for a product review. However, all the opinions expressed here are my own.

My Father's Secret Identity!

I was going through some old pictures while we were getting ready to move Teagan's room and I found a shocking secret.  This is something that was not apparent to me until I was older and now it is time that we share my father's secret identity.  

My father is....................

Drum Roll.......................

My Father was Thomas Magnum from Magnum P.I.!!!

I have photo evidence if you do not believe me!

 







Sorry dad but come on Tom Selleck has nothing on my dad!

Daughter

Daughter are angels sent from above to fill our heart with unending love. -- J. Lee

Everyone tells you that when you are dad and you have a daughter that they will have you wrapped around their little finger quicker than you ever think.  I am here to confess this little girl has me wrapped around her finger and am a sucker for her smile!  I love being a dad to a son and I love being a dad to a daughter.  It is the most amazing feeling I think that I can ever experience.

If you have ever spent any time with Teagan you know that she is a Firecracker in all senses of the word.  She is very independent and has a troublesome side to her!  I think that she is going to make me go grey very quickly, and you add Jude on that I am hoping to still have hair by the end of the year.  This girl though can also melt my heart at every single little Daddy and Please that she tells me.  She is my little cuddle buddy and we do a lot together.  I enjoy all these little moments that I get to have with her and cannot imagine missing out on any of them.

(Yes that is me doing pigtails in her hair)

I hope that all of these special moments that we have shared together and continue to share together will hold a special place in her heart forever.  

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

Did you know that April is Child Abuse Prevention Month?

Here are some shocking statistics from the CDC report from February 2012

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children.
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 

These statistics are shocking aren't they?  This is something that I see and work with every day of my career and they are saddening to me.  Most of these children do not have a voice or an advocate for them.  You can be that person.  If you feel that abuse or neglect is taking place you can contact the local authorities or Department of Social Services to make a report.  

I think that it is fair to say that there are many friends or maybe even family members that you have had contact with that were victims of abuse or neglect in some way.  Do not assume that it cannot happen within your family or even your community because it can.  

Remember that when a child is brought up in an environment free of Abuse and Neglect that they are more likely to thrive.  When a child is brought up in an environment of Abuse, Neglect, constant stress and unhealthy relationships this affects the child not only physically but can have life long mental and emotional impacts on the child.  

Please continue to educate yourself, your neighborhood, and your community about Child Abuse and Neglect and what we need to be doing to help these children.  It takes a village to raise a child!  If you want a great website to go to get information about child abuse and how you can help please go to www.childabuse.org

Did My Son Just Ask Me That?

HELP MY SON JUST ASKED ME A QUESTION I WAS NOT READY FOR!?!?!?!

So Jude and I had a great father son day on Saturday.  He helped me mow the lawn we goofed off some and then we went to go watch Jude's first Rugby match with some friends!  I was pumped!

As we were driving Jude was doing what he normally does he was asking me questions about everything!  He was wanting to know who my friend was that we were meeting.  How do you play rugby?  Is it going to be nice out? Where do babies come from and how do they get out of mommies tummy?

What?!?!? 

Did we just go from how do you play rugby to where do babies come from and how do they get out of mommies tummy?  I was shocked and didn't know how to answer this.  Jude must have recognized I wasn't ready because he didn't ask again and went on to other questions!  I mean give a warning.  Shoot up a signal flare that we are going to be asking about that!  You have to love a three year old's curiosity.  

I sent Censie a text about it and all she could do was laugh.  Not fair!  

Oh the joys of being a parent!

Bucket List Yes or No?

Have you seen this story?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/28/kristina-chesterman-donor-bucket-list_n_5051978.html

This story is about a 64 year old woman who received a new heart from an organ donor and now has been in contact with the donor's family.  The organ donor had a bucket list and now the recipient is stating that she is going to finish out her list so that even though the organ donor couldn't her heart will.

This got me thinking I don't have a bucket list.  Do you have one?  What are some of the things that you have on yours?  I will be thinking about doing one and may be posting my bucket list shortly.  I know that this has you on the edge of your seat.  I can't wait to hear all your thoughts and ideas!

Jeremy

Play Ball!

“Never allow the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!”
― Babe Ruth

Yesterday was Opening Day for the 2014 Baseball Season.  Many people it was just another day and they do not care.  For those of us that are huge baseball fans it's the beginning of an up and down season.  It signifies to me the start of spring and the joyous thought that Summer is right around the corner.  Censie is not a huge baseball fan but she puts up with me watching the games.  I am one of those select few that can watch a baseball game from beginning to end on TV without getting board. 

Also this gets me excited to take Jude and Teagan out to Coors Field to watch a Rockies game. We will go and have hot dogs and maybe some popcorn and if the kiddos are good we often times get ice cream.  We don’t just get the cone of ice cream we get the ice cream in the baseball helmet is there any other way to eat ice cream at a baseball game?

Baseball has always been a big part of my life.  I grew up playing and loving the sport, it didn't come 100% naturally to me but then again nothing did when you were 13 years old and almost 6'0" tall but only weighed about 120 lbs, I was awkward to say the least but I still loved getting out and playing baseball.  I spent a lot of time at the little league because my dad was the President of the Little League so if I wanted to see my dad I was there.  I then also umpired as a job and got to help teach some of the younger kids about baseball. 

I grew up going to baseball games with my Father and Grandfather's.  At that time it was the Denver Zephyrs, a minor league team but still loved going.  We even went to a game for my birthday one year.  My silly sister tried to convince me that we were going to a Bronco's game but come on Heidi I knew the sports seasons!   I have a lot of great memories of playing and watching baseball and I know that it can teach you a lot of valuable lessons like neither a slump nor a streak can last forever.  Also anyone can be the hero on any given night. 

Jude is somewhat interested in baseball but does not want to watch the games with me on TV but he does like going to games.  Trust me if either one of them ask me to take them to a game you can guarantee I will be looking for a way to get tickets to the game.  I will not pass on a chance to go watch a game at a stadium.  I hope that this is something that I can share with my children as they get older but if not oh well I will always have my love for Baseball.  

My son likes Princesses you got a problem with that?

So Jude loves watching shows that one might consider a "girly" show or he likes reading books about Fairies and Princesses so what?  The other day we were at a birthday party and he could choose between having a pirate skull tattoo or a fairy tattoo and he chose Tinker Bell and I was right there beside him telling him how cool it was. 

Why is it that boys have to play with trucks and girls have to play with dolls?  I understand that some people believe that there are boy's toys and girl's toys but to this dad I could care less.  I just like to see my children using their imagination.  Jude often times want to play Fairies and say that he is one and I am down for playing Fairies because the imagination that kid has is amazing.

Why should I tell him No we can't do that because that is something girls do.  Or why should I tell my daughter do not play with that car here is a doll to go play with?  I want my children to be happy doing what they are doing and have fun playing I don’t care with what.  I found this good article through EverdayFamily please give it a read www.everydayfamily.com/gender-toys-does-it-really-matter/

I for one will be there doing my daughter's hair and dancing around with her.  If she wants to do daddy's hair when she gets older you bet I will be there.  If she wants to paint my nails I will do it!  If she wants to learn how to work on cars I will be there. I will encourage her to whatever she likes to do as well.  I will play fairies with my son!  I will read about Tinker Bell and the other Fairies and Pixies!  I will play Rocky Ball with son and play football!   I am committed to just being there and being with my children and playing with them.  I am proud of him and his imagination and I cannot wait to see where it takes him!  

I'm Healed!

So I just wanted to put up a quick post because I went to the doctor on Tuesday and he confirmed that the main wound that I have been dealing with for 14 months has healed.  I am so thankful that this part is finally over.  I did have a new small superficial wound open up but the large one that we never thought was going to heal finally did.  Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers and I am hoping that this will help with everything else and I will be back to writing fun posts rather than posts about not feeling well!

Absent!

Yes I am back again and I know that I have been absent for quite some time again.  I really want to keep up with this blog and make sure that it is useful as well I just keep letting life get ahead of me.  This last year has been very rough for my healing and health.  I had my proctocolectomy in January 2013 and have had multiple surgeries since that point.  We had a muscle flap surgery done in December 2013 to hopefully heal the wound but it has not closed completely yet.

I am at about 14 months at this point with an open wound from my Proctocolectomy.  It is hard for me mentally and I continue to struggle daily with this.  Not only for the last month have I been dealing with the open wound but I also have been dealing with packing the wound daily by myself.  Now I could go in and have it done again daily like last year but we know how hard that was financially so we thought we would try it this way.  I am thankful that we are not paying for a visit every day but it is hard mentally for me.

I really would like for this blog to be something that individuals enjoy reading and that I can support other fathers, and other individuals with IBD.  Now I am also part of the Ostomate community so that adds another area where I want this blog to go to.  I will be working on committing more to making sure that blog posts getup and are meaningful. Do you have any suggestions on what you would like me to write about?  I appreciate every one's support and you will be seeing more of me.