Third time's the charm!

So I know that I have tried this before but I am going to try and get my blog up and running again. I have been very busy with my new job and the family,  but I have a strong desire to have this blog be read by others and share my experiences as a husband, father and as a person. 

Everyone in this world has a story and has something to share and this is my attempt to share a part of who I am. My amazing wife Censie has had an amazing blog for quite some time now so I have a great coach on how to do this but just have to put forth the effort. 

This blog started while I was dealing with an Inflmatory Bowel Disease known as Ulcerative Colitis. This still continues to be a huge part of my life but since my ostomy surgery I have tried to make it a smaller part of my life than it has been. 

Here is a little about me for those of you who do not know me. I love being a father and daddy. It is amazing, I never thought I could feel this way and that I would love this role in my life so much. They challenge me on a daily basis but I love them and would do anything for them.

I have been married to Censie for twelve years, I know I can't believe that she has put up with me for that long either. I am the luckiest man because she chose to be with me and I am so thankful for that. 

I am a huge sports freak. I love watching sports and pretty much anything to do with sports. I am a huge Red Sox fan and a Broncos fan, although I don't get to watch many sports any more because I am usually watching kids shows like "Miles from Tomorrowland " with the kiddos.  

As you can tell I am also a huge music lover, especially classic rock!  I am working on building my vinyl music collection and working to teach my kids about great music, but despite my best efforts they also love listening to pop music. 

I look forward to sharing more experiences and stories with everyone!

I Can Never Participate in the Greatest Joke Ever Again!!!

This has to be one of the worst realizations I have had since I became an Ostomate in January 2013.  Due to having a stoma that produces gas and does it whenever it wants.  You know like while you are sitting in a a group of professionals and it is dead silent and Gustav the stoma lets one rip.  I have no control over this any more which means I can never be the father or grandfather that does the "Pull My Finger" joke.  Please allow me a moment of silence while I morn over this.  Thank you!

How Am I Supposed to Go Swimming?

When I was told that I was going to be getting a permanent Ileostomy I had many questions.  One of those questions was how am I going to go swimming?

I mean really think about it I have a "Bag" attached to my stomach with just adhesive and lets not even go into what it is full of:)  I was so nervous about how am I going to go swimming again.  This was a big thing for me I love swimming and my parents live in Arizona so we go swimming every time we are down there.  Lets be honest who wants to be in Arizona in July and not be in a pool, not this guy!

When I was first told about my Ileostomy I began doing some research on different types of wraps and things that people use to have what they call a "normal" life.  I do wear a wrap every day to keep my Ileostomy closer to my stomach so it doesn't show as much and also makes it easier to wear dress pants but think of this wrap as a tube top that I wear on my stomach.  It more or less holds it there but doesn't do much else from there.  

This is when I stumbled upon an AWESOME company called Stealth Belt (www.stealthbelt.com).  This belt is amazing.  It holds my Ileostomy in a little pouch that is held very tightly against me by Velcro straps.  So it doesn't just cover my Ileostomy it actually holds it while I am doing active things.  Also it is made from the same material as swim suits so I can wear it to go swimming.  How awesome is that.  The other thing that I love about this wrap is that it is much smaller than my day in and day out wrap so when I do have my shirt off for swimming it is not as big of a deal.  

They do make the Stealth Belt in a variety of different styles and also patterns so one can wear it no matter the occasion.  The other thing that I love about my stealth belt, especially as I am now hoping to get back to working out, is that because of its design it also is a hernia support.  This is a huge deal when you have an ostomy.  The Stealth Belt can be found at www.stealthbelt.com and it is easy to measure yourself for it and get it ordered right away.

 

Here is a picture me wearing the Stealth Belt prior to going swimming with Teagan for her swim lessons.  This is an amazing belt and it has made me feel comfortable enough to go swimming again.  I cannot wait to put it to good use this summer when we go to Glenwood Springs with my family and Jude and I go down the water slide together.  

Please pass this information on to anyone you know that has an ostomy or my be facing a future with one.  The more we know the more comfortable we are.  I know this was something that scared me at first when thinking about having a permanent Ileostomy.  

Disclosure:  I was provided with a FREE Stealth Belt in exchange for a product review. However, all the opinions expressed here are my own.

Absent!

Yes I am back again and I know that I have been absent for quite some time again.  I really want to keep up with this blog and make sure that it is useful as well I just keep letting life get ahead of me.  This last year has been very rough for my healing and health.  I had my proctocolectomy in January 2013 and have had multiple surgeries since that point.  We had a muscle flap surgery done in December 2013 to hopefully heal the wound but it has not closed completely yet.

I am at about 14 months at this point with an open wound from my Proctocolectomy.  It is hard for me mentally and I continue to struggle daily with this.  Not only for the last month have I been dealing with the open wound but I also have been dealing with packing the wound daily by myself.  Now I could go in and have it done again daily like last year but we know how hard that was financially so we thought we would try it this way.  I am thankful that we are not paying for a visit every day but it is hard mentally for me.

I really would like for this blog to be something that individuals enjoy reading and that I can support other fathers, and other individuals with IBD.  Now I am also part of the Ostomate community so that adds another area where I want this blog to go to.  I will be working on committing more to making sure that blog posts getup and are meaningful. Do you have any suggestions on what you would like me to write about?  I appreciate every one's support and you will be seeing more of me.  

The Things That They Can Do with Surgery Amaze Me!

So I am going in for another surgery on December 12^th, 2013 at 7:30am to have a reconstructive surgery done.  I have been going to the doctor almost daily since January 9^th due to having a wound post-surgery that would not heal.  We have tried EVERYTHING to have this wound healed but my body is saying Nope I don’t think so! 

My body has been acting this way for a while now so it is not a surprise that it would go ahead and decide to do it now but we gave it a lot of time.  This week I hit my 300^th doctor visit this year.  That is a lot I know the nurses on a first name basis and I bet if you ask them they have seen way more of me than anybody ever wants to see.  

When they do a proctocolectomy they remove the rectal stump because you do not need it any more they give you as we in the ostomy call it an action figure butt or a Barbie butt.  You know the kind that is there but completely closed up and serves no function?  Well that was supposed to happen to me, you have no idea how happy I was to have a GI Joe butt, come on my wife would love a GI Joe butt right?

Well my body decided not to heal the wound so instead of GI Joe butt I went back to a complete dysfunctional butt that would not heal.  I have a six inch by 1.5 inch cavity that will not heal or close up. So that means going in daily to have the wound packed with gauze to try and keep it from closing up too quick and causing an abscess to form.  So not only do I have to go in daily what they do to me is not pleasant by any means.  Luckily I have had some very amazing nurses and doctors who have been trying to provide the best care for me possible.

So with this surgery I will be a human jigsaw puzzle as I like to call it but I am so thankful that they are doing it so that I can hopefully be healed and moving forward.  They are going to use the two small muscles on the inside of my inner thigh the Gracilis Muscle to pull through the wound and fill the cavity and then allow my body to just heal the outside wounds.

Here is a wonderful write up about it on Wikipedia:)

 

The gracilis muscle is commonly used as a flap in microsurgery. According to the classification of Mathes and Nahai, it presents a type II blood supply, allowing it to be transferred on its artery derived from the medial circumflex femoral artery. This artery enters the muscle about 10 cm from the pubic symphysis. At this point (or 1 cm proximal) the nerve also enters.

Gracilis muscle is widely used in reconstructive surgery, either as a pedicled flap or as a free microsurgical flap. Both pedicled and free flaps can be muscular or musculocutaneos (the so- called "composite flaps"). As a pedicled flap, gracilis muscle can be used in perineal and vaginal reconstruction, after oncological surgery, in the treatment of recurrent anovaginal and rectovaginal fistulas as well in the coverage of the neurovascular bundle after vascular surgery.^[3]

As a functioning pedicled flap, the gracilis muscle can be transferred for the treatment of anal incontinence. This technique called graciloplasty was described in the 1950s by Pickrell and was revolutionized in the late 1980s by the introduction of chronic muscle electro-stimulation. The gracilis microsurgical free flap is commonly used in the reconstruction of upper and lower limbs, in breast reconstruction and – as a free functioning flap – to restore forearm function or in dynamic reconstruction of facial paralysis.Gracilis Muscles Clinical Role

So I only have 20 more daily visits to get through and then we will have surgery so please keep my family in your prayers as we go through one more but hopefully this will be the last one!

A Quick Look Into My Brain! (Buckle up!)

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The definition of Depression is as follows:

1. Severe despondency and dejection, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.

2. A condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.

I however would describe it as a nasty snake that can creep in and wrap itself around you and it will easily consume you before you even know it is there.  This snake as I like to call it has had a major impact on my life for quite some time, now whether or not I want to admit it is a whole different story.

              Growing up mental health was not something that was talked about or even I feel accepted in my family.  If you were felt different you didn’t talk about it you didn’t go see someone you just dealt with it.  Now this may have been only my perceived impression of how it was handled, but then again this is my blog and that is how I felt!

              I think that there are many people who have a negative view of depression and that they feel that all I do is sit around my house in a robe eating and crying.  I can let you know that is not the case.  I get up I go to work everyday and I come home and spend time playing with my family but mentally I do struggle with this.  It is a challenge that I fight every day that no one sees, I wish I could let people see it because then I think that it would be understood more but sadly I can’t put a projector on my brain and let you see what is going on in there.

              It's funny in many ways how many people will say things negatively about depression without knowing that they are talking to someone who is dealing with the same illness they are talking poorly about.  It took me a while and a lot of encouragement from my wonderful wife Censie but I started seeing a therapist and it has helped.  Now it's not like walking in having an epiphany and then I am all done but it is an ongoing battle of ups and downs where there are days that I feel great and then days that I feel like total shit.  I think that having my surgery has been hard for me mentally even though I feel healthy I am still adjusting to having a bag on my stomach for the rest of my life.  So this is something that I will continually look in the face and know that it is a part of me but it is not something that will consume me for the rest of my life.  I need to be present for my children and for my family!

“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems”
― Epictetus

The definition of Anxiety is as follows:

1   A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

2.  Desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease.

              Now I compared depression to a snake that wraps itself around you where now I will compare Anxiety a little pesky worm inside your brain hopped up on speed making sure that you worry about everything.  In my case I worry about pretty much everything at all times.  So lets recap I have a snake holding me down and a worm making sure that I worry about every small detail about everything.

              If you have known me for any part of my life you could probably easily see me as being a pretty anxious person.  I get really bad social anxiety at this point as well.  Some of my anxiety stems from IBD.  I would always worry about what if eat something that makes me sick, where is the bathroom, are people counting how many times I go to the bathroom, and do people think I am making myself sick?  Now I worry about is my bag going to pop off, do people think that I smell, what are people thinking about me? 

              I also have a strong desire to make everyone like me and I cannot handle thinking that people are mad at me.  My coworkers know this now about me and it has become a joke that someone is just going to come up and say they are mad at me because they know I will not be able to let it go.  I worry about how people look at me and if they are judging me or if I did something to make them upset.  I worry about what people think about how me, how I look how I act.  It's like running a sprint all the time in my brain and it can be exhausting at times. 

              Luckily Censie has stood by me through all of these challenges because my Depression and my Anxiety were exasperated these last three years in dealing with my Ulcerative Colitis. 

              I am writing this post not to get people to feel sorry for me but to make mental health more normal and show an insight into my world.  I constantly hear bad things about people with mental health or that we must be weak if we go to counseling.  I would say the opposite.  I think that it takes a ton of strength to go to someone and admit that you need help and that you need support.  I want to make sure that neither of my children ever feels bad about being down on themselves or being nervous but if it becomes a huge issue in your life then you need to go and seek out support. 

Secret Subject Swap!

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. 17 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

 

 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

www.BakingInATornado.com                             

 http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/ 

http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/

http://suburbiainterrupted.com/                             

http://www.bigaandlittlea.com                               

http://ibddaddyandme.blogspot.com

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/

www.3monkeysandamartini.com

http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/

http://www.somethingclever2point0.com/

http://www.themommyref.blogspot.com/

http://rushingforbagels.blogspot.com

http://gocheapgohome.com

www.rebekaches.com

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/

http://slackermomof4.blogspot.com/

http://www.mommyunmuted.com/

                

My subject is Share a bloggy goal that you hope to achieve this year.  It was submitted by http://www.bigaandlittlea.com . Here goes: 

So my goal this year is to tale over the Daddy blogging community (insert diabolical  laugh at this point).  No really I want to be able to grow my audience and share with other fathers and also others dealing with IBD and after Wednesday now dealing with an Ostomy.

This has been a major change for me over the last couple of days and actually I am in the hospital as I am writing this.  I have a permanent Ileostomy on my stomach so I will be blogging about how the surgery and the recovery goes. 

I am pretty new on the blogging scene so I am just starting off so I have a lot of goals. I think that I keep coming up with new goals everyday.   I think that there a lot of daddy blogs out there but I feel that there are several that control the whole scene and I would like to infiltrate that tight knit group and bring in a fresh look and also a armature approach.  I am not a professional writer, I actually suck at writing but I am not going to give up.  Thank you so much for everyone for letting me be part of this blogging post.  I will try and type more as the pain meds wear off but thank you again!

I Am Scared!!!

I must admit at this point I am scared! 

 

 

 

Today is Monday January 7th, and on Wednesday January 9th I will be going in for a total proctocolectomy.  This is a major surgery, I have been told that the surgery will last about 6 to 7 hours. 

 

I am very excited to be able to get my life back and no longer deal with Ulcerative Colitis.  I am ready to start healing and moving forward but I am scared about the surgery.  This is going to be a major life change and I know it is going to be a difficult road ahead but I just need to get through the surgery.

 

I will be keeping everyone up to date from the hospital after I am done, they are telling me that I am going to be in the hospital for 7-10 days.  I will have my computer there with me because I am going to need some connection to the outside world.  I will be providing all of my IBD companions about the surgery and the recover from beginning to end so that if someone else is going through the surgery hopefully I can answer some questions.  I know that all the information that I have read on line helped me so much, so I am hoping to return the favor to someone else. 

 

Thank you again for everyone who has supported IBD, Daddy and Me! as we have gone through this journey together.  Thank you again!

Jeremy

Seriously?!?!?!?!?!

DAMN YOU ULCERATIVE COLITIS!!!!

 

So I made it out of the hospital through Christmas!  I was able to be there in the morning and see Jude's face as he opened his presents and then the awe and wonder of Santa and his fish tank.  I am thankful for that moment.  Sadly though I didn't make it long past that.

 

We were able to go get more fish for his fish tank last night, you know Santa told me he could go get more fish, and we got them all set up and they are doing well.  However 20 days after being discharged from the hospital I am back here again.  I had been struggling off and on since being discharged but was looking forward to having my surgery consult on the 2nd.  I started bleeding again and having a lot of urgency, which led to me having two accidents.  Yes that is where we are at, I have no control of my body which sucks ass literally! 

 

They told me that they felt that it was the best idea for me to come in to the Emergency Room so I did and now am admitted to the hospital again.  We are talking in the morning about the surgery and what we are going to do.  The scary things for me is I am afraid to be discharged again because I don't know how long I am going to make it through.  I just don't know but hopefully we can come up with a plan because I cannot live like this.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!  I will keep everyone updated!

I Can't Stop!

 

Damn you PREDNISONE!

 

If you have ever had the pleasure of being on prednisone you may understand this but I cannot stop eating!  I will eat and never be full despite how much I eat.  I have been on Prednisone for almost three years and it is the one side effect I am guaranteed to have!  Its a vicious cycle for me I eat because of the medicine but then I need the medicine because when I eat my body hates me!  So if you see me grazing and eating just remember its the steroids not just my amazing appetite!  Its going to be a fun Holiday Season for me with all the sweets!

Heck Yeah I Can Bake!

I Did It I Made Cookies!

 

 

For those of you that don't know me very well I am a huge fan of the food network but rarely do I ever try and make anything.  It is one of my joys with food though.  It is funny I get so much enjoyment out of food but because of Ulcerative Colitis my body hates food.  Its a vicious cycle!  I wanted to try and do something fun this Christmas season with Jude.  I thought it would be fun to make cookies at home. 

 

Now I know that I could have gone and got the frozen dough or I could have bought the packaged mix and just made it, BUT NO I decided that I was going to make cookies from SCRATCH! 

 

Thankfully Censie decided that this sounded like a good idea and gave me a shot.  I found the recipe online and then we bought the ingredients and I made the cookie dough.  Now I know these are just basic sugar cookies but don't rain on my parade.  I was thankful that the dough at least looked like cookie dough.  I always used to eat the cookie dough more then the cookies but I have refrained myself and made the Adult choice that raw egg may not be good for my stomach.  I hate growing up!

 

We then rolled them out and Jude helped cut them out and we baked our cookies then.  He had a blast picking out the shapes and cutting out the cookies, now he did keep trying to eat the dough but we got a lot of cookies made.  He had a blast going through and decorating them with frosting and putting sprinkles on them.  Needless to say we went straight to the bath after this.  I think he had a great time, it take a while, but it was a great memory to share with Censie and him of making cookies.  I hope that I can start to cook and bake more I really enjoyed it!  Merry Christmas!

 



Does Anyone Have a Map?

There are many times in life that I wish that it came with a Map on which to go.  This time is no different than others and I wish that I had a map more now than ever.  These last six weeks have been crazy busy and a lot has gone on, you can read about those in my other Update Post.  I am still in the hospital, this is only day three but if you have ever been in the hospital it feels like forever.  I hate when I don't look sick and start to feel better just have to stay in my room because I need to have Prednisone administered through IV so that I can feel better.

 

I have been in the hospital for a Ulcerative Colitis Flair.  I was having 18 bowel movements a day with quite a bit of bleeding.  I was trying to stay healthy so that I could take care of Censie after she had her surgery, but my body decided that it didn't want to allow that.  This has been something that has been a concern for my family the entire time that I have been dealing with this illness.  I finally got the call from my doctor that I needed to come into the hospital. 

 

After I came in they did another colonoscopy, this is number 11 in three years.  That is a lot but it could be worse but it is not something that I look forward to doing.  I had a flexible sigmoidoscopy in September, this is a colonoscopy but not as invasive, and it showed that I was healing.  During this check up it showed that I have moderate to severe Ulcerative Colitis throughout 2/3rds of my colon.  This shows that the medicine that I was on was not working and that it was not keeping my body out of a flair, which it should be.

 

So why do I want a map?  Censie, my family and I are going to be faced with a huge decision that is going to affect our family for the rest of our lives.  We have the possibility of trying one more medication.  This medication also comes with the possibility for a lot of negative side effects and my doctor has described it as a "Hail Mary" attempt at stopping my Ulcerative Colitis.  The other option which would cure my Ulcerative Colitis would be surgery.

There are two different options for surgery to take care of Ulcerative Colitis.  The first one would be a total colectomy which would remove my entire Colon and then they would give me a stoma with an ileostomy bag for the rest of my life.  If we go with this option it is not reversible.  This would be difficult as I would have to get use to having a bag for the rest of my life but would also cure all and I could move forward.

The second option would be to have them construct a J-Pouch which would be an internal pouch but would require two surgeries.  They have stated that I am younger and that I don't want to have an ostomy bag for the rest of my life but it is something to consider.  If I do the J-Pouch there is the possibility of developing Pouchitis and having to have that treated. There is also the possibility that it will fail and then they would have to do the ileostomy anyways.  Also if they do the J-Pouch you still have to go to the restroom 4-8 times per day, I know that is an improvement but still it would be difficult to have to deal with. 

I was going to post images but I figured that would be going to far.  So as you can see there are a lot of things that we have to think about and then hopefully make the right choice.  Please continue to keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we make these decisions and I hope that the Map we decide to follow leads us to a great place!

UPDATE!
So I wrote this while I was in the hospital and was waiting trying to figure out what direction I was going to go with my health.  I met with my doctor and she felt that the medicine that we had discussed was not going to be an option for me.  She has recommended the surgery  She has stated that the J-Pouch Surgery was not an option for myself.  My body is just to severely infected, especially my rectum, yes I said rectum :)  I also have had issues even when my colon is doing well so at this point I will be meeting with a surgeon to have a total colectomy and having a permanent Ileostomy with a bag for the rest of my life.  I am nervous about this and know that this is just the beginning of this journey but I will keep everyone updated and share my thoughts as we travel on this road together.  Thank

My Rock!

My Rock!

They always say behind a great man is a great woman! I would say in my case there is no better statement.  My poor wife Censie has been put through the gamut over the past three years and yet she is always standing there smiling.  I cannot thank her enough for all of her continued support and love.

We knew when I got this diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis that we were going to have a long road ahead of us but I don't think we knew how bumpy this road was going to be and how long it actually was.  We started this journey back in 2009 when I got my diagnosis.  She was there by my side while I did my first colonoscopy prep, she went and bought me a movie to watch, sadly we didn't know that I wasn't going to watch any of it.  She came with me and sat there by my side as we heard the diagnosis.

Censie has been with me to multiple doctor appointments and been there with me as I am told over and over again that we are trying a new medication and the possible side effects that it may have on me.  I have been on Prednisone for 2 1/2 years and gained 70lbs while on this medication.  It also increased my anxiety.  Now if you have ever met me in person you know that I am a anxious person in general but my Anxiety has just gotten worse.  It took a long time for me to admit how my anxiety and depression affected my family but Censie has always been there for me.  We have had our ups and downs and I am still learning about how it affects me but it is a work in progress. I have a history of shutting down when I get anxious and also always fear for the worst, which doesn't help my gut issues.

Censie has always supported me in the directions that I want to go and has never left me hanging by myself.  She has provided me with two beautiful children, thankfully they have their mom's good looks and hopefully they have their mom's colon as well and not mine.  She provides me with love and support and help in any endeavor that we face.  I have never been concerned about what is ahead of us because I know that I have her by my side. 

This month has a been a prime example of everything.  Three days before Teagan was born my "Papa" passed away, this was a huge hit on my emotions.  Teagan was then born and then the next week my parents were out here for a funeral, she did not complain she welcomed it with open arms.  Then she got sick and ended up having to have her gallbladder removed.  The days leading up to this she had my parents and grandmother out here for thanksgiving and then put on an awesome baptism for Teagan.  I then started feeling sick, as much as I tried to keep my body from doing it I just kept getting sicker and sicker.  I kept worrying about leaving her at home but she kept encouraging me to take care of myself.  She never was upset about me coming to the hosptial she just wants me to get better and does not want me worrying about what is going on.  She has always been there with a smile on her face encouraging me to get better. 

We know that we possibly have the decision about surgery coming up and she has stood beside me through everything and keeps me positive as I get down about myself.  I know that she will support me through everything and we will get past these hurdles that we have had. I know without her I would have already stumbled and failed but I am where I am at because of her!  I cannot thank her enough for her awesome support I hope that this is just a beginning in me continuing to tell her how much she means to me and how much I love her!  Thank you Censie!

Nominated for a Liebster!

I am so honored and humbled I was nominated for The Liebster Award by Photography by Beverly! What is a Liebster? Well, it's a shout out to blogs with less than 200 public followers, who are interesting...quirky...awesome to read.

 

 

The Rules 

- Each blogger that is nominated must post 11 things about themselves

- Answer the 11 questions that the blogger who nominated them asked

- Nominated blogger creates 11 new questions to ask the bloggers they nominate

- Choose 100 bloggers with less than 200 followers to nominate, link them in the post

- Notify the nominees of their award

- No tag backs!

And away...we go!

1. I just started blogging this year and am hoping that I can get my blog to grow and help others.
2. I am honored to be a father to my son Jude who is 2 1/2 and my daughter Teagan who is just over a month old.
3. I have been married to my wonderful and extremely supportive wife Censie for over 9 years, we will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in August.
4. I am a huge sports nut, I enjoy watching almost any type of sport but Baseball is my favorite sport.  I am a huge Red Sox Fan.
5. Music is an essential part of my life and my daily routines.  I enjoy all types of music but classic rock is probably my favorite.  I am a huge Beatles fan if you can't tell by my son's name.
6. I started going to school to be a youth pastor but changed my mind and have been working as a social worker for the past 5 years. 
7. I am currently surviving a diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, this has resulted in three hospital stays in three years and now we are looking at possible surgery to cure this illness.
8. I have recently started getting back into making art and had an art show in August at a Denver Gallery, I have also opened an Etsy shop The Eccentric Mind. 
9. I love watching the Food Network and have a dream to be an awesome cook.
10. I have 11 tattoos and am in love with this type of body art, if I could have many more I would!
11.  I have been diagnosed with depression and moderate social anxiety, these are challenges that I also must face every day as a person, a husband, and a father.

Here are the questions that Shannon challenged me with!

1. What is your favourite holiday tradition? My favorite tradition is putting up our Christmas tree, it has been something Censie and I look forward to doing every year.  I am excited to start building more traditions with my family, taking Jude and Teagan to go see Santa is also amazing. 
2. What is your favourite movie from your childhood? This is a hard one for me!  I would have to say that my favorite move as a child was "Never Ending Story"
3. Do you have any pets? How many? What are their names? We have two cats Pun-kin and Sophie.
4. Do you consider yourself *green*? What do you do to be eco-friendly? I do as much as I can but it has been hard but we do as much as we can to recycle and not cause extra waste.
5. Do you love your home? I love my home immensely.  It is my favorite place to be because it is full of laughter and love. 
6. What is your go-to night-on-the-town outfit? Hmm I don't really get dressed up to go out but usually just a dress shirt and jeans.  Nothing special. 
7.  What is your favourite appetizer to serve guests? I don't really have guests over but I would say that chicken wings are the best to give to people.
8. If you could have a dream vacation, where would it be? For me my dream vacation would be taking my family to Disneyland or Disneyworld.  I have never been there so I am excited to share the excitement of going for the first time with my family.
9. Where did you go on your honeymoon?  Censie and I went to Meadow Creek Bed and Breakfast in Pine Colorado.  We have gone back several times after!
10. Do you believe in paying it forward? I do I think that we as humans should always step up and try to help out someone else that is not in our position. 
11. What was your first ever blogpost about? My first blog post was about an introduction to myself and about being a Daddy.


Whew this has taken a while!  Good thing I am just sitting in the hospital so I could complete this!

Here are my questions for my blogs that I am nominating!

1. What is your favorite Season of the year?
2. What is your favorite book?
3. Why did you start a blog?
4. What is the one thing that you can always go and do to relax?
5. Who is the most influential person in your life?
6.  What is your favorite type of food to eat?
7. If you were given one million dollars what is the first thing that you would do?
8. What was your first car? Did it have any special meaning?
9. Do you have any daily routines that you would consider to be weird?
10. Why is blogging important to you?
11. If you could have dinner with any person in history who would you have dinner with and why?

Want to know their answers? Go check them out!

1. http://theheartofahomemaker.blogspot.com/
2. http://ihaveulcerativecolitis.wordpress.com/
3. http://stolencolon.com/
4. http://mywifemykidsmydogs.blogspot.com/
5. http://www.idads.co.uk/
6. http://forcefamilyjourney.blogspot.com/
7. http://www.thecrazychaotichouse.blogspot.com/
8. http://www.bloodpooptears.com/
9. http://readbradthedad.com/
10. http://www.lifeonthesonnyside.com/
11. http://itsadomelife.com/

Whew!! I hope you made it this far, and if you did...two big thumbs up!

Waiting Sucks!

I Hate Waiting!

 

As I am writing this I am sitting here in my hospital bed waiting to be taken down for a Wonderful event.  They are doing another colonoscopy this morning.  This will make number 11 for me in three years.  They say that you do not have to do these until your 50 but I guess I should just consider myself lucky that I get to so many.

 

I am hoping that after doing this colonoscopy we will have some answers.  They are hoping to get in and see if my Ulcerative Colitis has become severely inflamed again.  If you have never had the pleasure of doing a Colonoscopy let me break it down for you! 

 

 

IT SUCKS!!!!!

 

Starting at 4pm yesterday I had to take two laxative pills, now this normally would be difficult for anyone but prior coming to the hospital I was in the bathroom 18 times a day so this just escalates everything so it is a joyous time.  Then you get to drink this wonderful  GoLYTELY and it is a salty solution that you have to drink 8 ounces every ten minutes.  I like to describe it as drinking the stomach flu because once it hits you are in trouble.  It is funny talking to people who have never had one done before and explaining it to them and then hearing their reactions afterwards.  I know that this is a necessary evil when dealing with IBD but I never imagined that at 31 this is where I would be.

Censie and I are going to have some serious decisions to make after this colonoscopy on if we should proceed with me having surgery or try a new medication that sounds pretty scary to me.  I was really hoping to get in and get this done with today early but I still have another two hours till I go down.  I have only had broth, lemon ice, and jello since yesterday at 10:30. So in about three hours if you are out there and want to sneak me in some good food I will be waiting! :)

Time for an Update

Time for an Update!

 

I was sitting her looking back at my blog and was thinking that it has been a while since I had written a blog post.  I know that this has been tough for those of you that are following my blog.

 

The last blog post that I wrote was a difficult one for me because it was about my grandfather's passing which still hits me hard every day.  I will find myself thinking about him and getting teary eyed because of the flow of emotions. 

 

Three days after my grandfather passed away I was blessed to welcome our daughter Teagan Evelyn into the world, I love the feeling of being a father.  It is something that I cannot put down into words that feeling of holding her for the first time.  I am so blessed to have two wonderful children in my life and one amazing wife! 

 

The week after Teagan was born my parents came out for the funeral, it was another wave of emotions going from being so happy about my daughter to having to deal with death again.  It was amazing hearing all the great stories about my Papa he was a quiet man but he had a profound impact on my life an who I am today. 

 

My parents then left and the next week Censie went into the emergency room because she wasn't feeling well and it was discovered that she had gall stones and that she was going to have to have her gall bladder out.  This was a shock to us as she had an attack a year ago but we were not told at that point about the gall stones.  We scheduled her surgery for after Thanksgiving so that she could enjoy the holidays, oh and a baptism, and then my parents coming out again.

We were blessed enough to have my parents and my grandma come out for Thanksgiving and the Baptism, Teagan's middle name is Evelyn from my grandma.  We were so thankful that they could come out for this time of celebration. 

While my parents were out here my body decided that we didn't have enough stress in life so a Ulcerative Colitis flair was in store.  I will be going into this into more detail later.  Censie had her surgery and it went well, I was a nervous nelly the entire time I am only used to being the sick one.  I now know what Censie has to go though every time I am sick.  I was able to help her as much as I could but then had to return back to work and then my body decided we were going to increase our flair. 

Needless to say this first six weeks of having Teagan at home has been a whirlwind but I am so thankful that I have a wonderful family to share this with.  I will be trying to blog a lot more and I appreciate any support from anyone.  I hope I can get this blog going and share my story with how I am doing at this point.  Thank you for sharing some time reading this. 



I Have a "Boo Boo" in my Tummy

I have a "Boo Boo" in My Tummy!

Today is one of the days that it is so fun living with Ulcerative Colitis.  I had been having issues with my gut, it could be a little bit of stress, who would have thought that but I had to call my GI doctor.  I am trying to make sure that my body doesn't go into a full flair, that is not something that I need to put on my family right now or my own mental health.  This morning Jude kept asking me to eat breakfast with him but I had to tell him that I couldn't, something that is impossible to explain fully to a two year old.  The best way to explain it was that I had a "boo boo" in my tummy and that I had to go see a doctor.  He continues to lift up my shirt and check my "boo boo."

Three months after Jude was born I ended up spending seven days in the hospital due to an Ulcerative Colitis flair.  Luckily my doctor knows me super well so when I call her and tell her that I am having problems she gets me in right away.  I called her yesterday and she told me to come in for a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy.  Yeah if you haven't had one or a colonoscopy they are as much fun as they sound.  

Here I am sitting in the waiting room waiting to go in.  I had not eaten anything since 9pm on Monday so I was hungry by this point, and some lady was eating in the waiting room but oh well what can you do.  So they then took me back and got my IV all hooked up.  While they were talking to me they were asking when my last procedure done was.  I couldn't remember so we pulled up the history.  I had a colonoscopy in February and one in September of 2011.  It was kind of saddening knowing that I had three procedures done within a year.  I couldn't help but think of when my father called me asking me for advice on what to do during a colonoscopy prep, something that I shouldn't have to tell me dad about.  The Dr. completed the flexible sigmoidoscopy and we did get good news.  My colon is still showing mild signs of Colitis but definitely saw signs of healing.  I did get a talking to about my enemas, I am having to get over the mental block of having to do one every night but it is the best for me and my family so I have to get through it.  

Here I am recovering after the procedure.  It is always tiring even though I don't have to do much.  I am so thankful for my doctor for always providing me with support and help when it is needed.  She is aware of my family and she always helps us get through this illness as a unit.  I am thankful that we got the good news that we did so that I do not have to consider the surgical options that there are.  I know that this is a possibility eventually but my mind and my body are not there at this point.  I am thankful for my wife for taking me and always being there by my side and supporting me.  I am also thankful for my son who is always there with a smile and a hug!  We will beat this illness together!  

Hi my name is Jeremy and I'm a Daddy!

Hi I would like to get started with this blog by introducing myself.  My name is Jeremy I am 31 years old.  I have been married to my wonderful wife Censie for 9 years, she has an awesome blog herself I don’t think mine is going to compare but please check it out www.buildingourstory.com, I am also father to our wonderful son Jude and our daughter who is going to be here in a short time.  I love being a father it is truly an amazing joy day in and day out.  Now granted being a parent to a two year old in and of itself can be challenging having that hug, smile and I Love You at the end of the day makes it all worth it.  I am writing this blog about being a husband, father, brother, dealing with illness, Ulcerative Colitis, and Anxiety.  All of these describe me. 

            I think that there are a lot of blogs out there about mom’s and how to handle being a mother but there are not many about being a father.  I think it takes a special person to be able to talk about the challenges that we as men face with being a father and being an individual.  I know all you guys are thinking ok here comes the Kumbaya crap, well maybe you will consider it that but after being in counseling for my Anxiety for about 6 months at this point, get over it!  It is perfectly fine to talk about your feelings as a “Manly Man.”  I am hoping that this blog will help me connect with other dad’s out there and also help provide my insight to being a dad and dealing with daily challenges.

            I am not going to be serious all of the time but there will be some serious moments from time to time.  I am always open to suggestions about what I should talk about but I will probably always throw my own twist into things.  Some of the things will be hard for me to talk about and may not be socially appropriate.  You know dealing with Ulcerative colitis for three years has made me talk about things that most people would not.  I am hoping that people enjoy this blog and people will connect through it and hopefully it will help someone else.  Thank you and please stay tuned for things to come!