I can't believe I just said that!!!

I can honestly say that I had one of the biggest foot in my mouth moment as a parent this weekend.  Now there have been plenty of moments where I have caught myself saying something in front of the children that I shouldn't but this was different. 

I caught myself (or should I say I was caught by Censie, and appropriately called out by her) this weekend.  We were in the car driving around and Jude was playing how many questions can I ask in one car ride, which he is a professional at by the way, and began to worry about something.  To be honest I cannot even remember what he was worried about but it was another worry in a long string of worries.  Without even thinking I just told him "Jude you really have to stop worrying so much."

This is when the epic call out was initiated by Censie.  Yes she was completely just in calling me out.  I mean me the worrier who will worry about anything and will drive myself absolutely crazy because of my anxiety just told my anxious five year to stop worrying.  It is sad actually because I am a person that is very anxious and can turn the smallest thing into the biggest catastrophe in my head within seconds.  If someone told me to stop worrying I would be very upset and try to explain to them that I wish I could but I just can't, yet I expected my son to be able to in that instant just turn his brain off and stop worrying. 

I am hoping that I can teach him better than this.  I want him to be okay with who he is, even if that person deals with the same extreme anxiety that I do.  I want him to be able to understand what is going on within his head and to learn coping skills so he can be comfortable handling the situation.  I know one can not just turn it off but this comment came out in a time of frustration.  The hard part for me is controlling my own anxiety when Jude gets anxious.  It's a vicious cycle he gets anxious and then that makes my anxiety go up  and then I get frustrated.  I will work on my anxiety continually, but as stated I hope I can help him with his.

If you are dealing with a child who has anxiety here is an article I found helpful through Psychology Today:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-worry-mom/201302/12-tips-reduce-your-childs-stress-and-anxiety

Tae Kwon Do

I cannot remember how many times I asked my mom while I was growing up to let me do Karate.  Lets be honest a lot of this (as it probably is with Jude) came from TMNT or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the movies Karate Kid, Sidekicks, and 3 Ninjas.  So in traditional kid fashion I asked all the time and then my mom would always respond in traditional parent fashion "No" and when pushed she would say "Because I said so". 

I do not know all of my mom's thoughts but I believe she told me several times that I couldn't take Karate because she didn't want me to fight or punch others.  Until I was a parent I never understood this thought.  I mean all I wanted to do was to do the awesome kicks, flips and break a board.  What kid doesn't watch a video of someone breaking a board with their hand or head and think they can do that.  I am pretty sure that there were multiple attempts at trying it as well.  None of those attempts were successful but luckily no serious injuries were sustained besides a big lump on the head.  

So lets fast forward to present time when Jude came up to us and asked to do Karate.  I am pretty sure that I had the very same thought as my mom.  No you cannot do that I am continually yelling to stop punching things and you want me to send you to a class that teaches you how to punch things.  I was very nervous to put him in any type of martial arts.  I must admit the reason that I was so nervous was due to my lack of knowledge.  I will be the first one to say that I am glad I did my research and took the time to educate myself.  

I took the kids to the Thornton Fest and Jude won a month of free lessons of Tae Kwon Do.  Again my ignorance showed off because I thought that all forms of martial arts were basically the same, I was so wrong.  We figured that this would be a good time for Jude to try Tae Kwon Do to see if he even liked it, little did I know how well he would do and how much he would enjoy it.  We went for our welcome night and he was very nervous to get out there but he did and he was hooked.  We have been going for about 6 months now and I am so amazed at the progress that he has made and how great it has been for him. 

Jude is built the same way I was at his age.  Tall and completely uncoordinated.  We will just be walking and the the next thing I know Jude is down on the ground.  Tae Kwon Do has helped him with his coordination so much.  He has been learning how to control his body.  He has to learn how to watch the instructor and copy the form.  The forms often time require them to do multiple moves with their hands and feet at the same time.  Yes it involves punches and kicks but it focuses completely on control as well.  The instructors will many times that you have to be able to control your body in order to control your mind.

I have to say I am so impressed with how well they are doing with him and would recommend martial arts to everyone.  I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I have but seeing the look on his face when he accomplishes a new form or gets a new belt.  I cannot wait to see how far he goes with this and will encourage him the entire way.  I am no expert but I am learning and showing him the enthusiasm that he needs, isn't that what every child needs?