Dad you have a bag?
This is a question that I hear pretty frequently now a day from my son
Jude! He knows that I have an ileostomy
and that I now wear a bag on my stomach.
He always asks why do you have a bag?
I have to explain to him that daddy was sick in his tummy but that this
has made daddy feel better. He then goes
into to explain to me that I have poop in my bag. I am glad he at least knows what is going on
with itJ
These are the things that you have to deal with sometimes
when you are an ostomate and a parent.
It has been a pretty large life change for the past 6 months. I went in to the hospital on January 9th
for my surgery and I have been living with my "bag" ever since, and
will be living with it for the rest of my life.
Physically I have been feeling better up until
recently. My wound had healed to the
point that I didn't have to go to the doctor daily anymore on May 16th,
but then in the first week of June I had problems with it. They just thought
that it was something minor but I went in on the 12th of July and
the wound has reopened. We are not sure
why but I have to go in daily again to have a nurse pack the wound with
dressing. Let me tell you it is a
BLAST! Not only did this take a hit on
my physically but I would say more so emotionally and mentally. It is hard dealing with this wound that does
not appear to be healing. Overall though
physically I am much better. I am able
to go out and do things with everyone without having to worry about being
sick. I do have to worry about bags
coming off or leaking oh and the fun alien noises it makes but so far those
have been far less common then when I was really sick and in a flair. It is nice being able to plan to use the
bathroom besides having to run to the bathroom while squeezing your butt cheeks
together praying to all that is holy that you make it in time!
I am able to wrestle around with Jude but he knows that he
has to be careful of my tummy because I have a bag. It is an experience trying to potty train a
little boy and living with an ostomy because things are done so much differently
than how he does things. He is just very
curious about it but is not shy about telling people about my bag or wanting to
see my bag in public, yeah that’s a fun one!
Mentally I feel that it has been harder than anything
else. If you have spent much time with
me you know that I can be a little obsessive compulsive but I am constantly
checking my back to make sure it is not leaking. It can get annoying for others and for
myself. I also have not been dealing
well with the self-esteem pieces. This will come and I know it and I am working
with a counselor for it but it is a hard thing to deal with having a "shit
bag" attached to your stomach every day.
There are days that I am angry at having to have it but I am trying to
remain positive and remember that I am healthier with a bag than I was without
one. Overall the past six months have
been an up and down roller coaster at times but I am glad that I can smile with
Jude when he walks up and wants to see my bag or says why do you have a
bag? I want a bag too daddy! And I can
smile at him and say I hope he doesn't but knowing that love makes it worth it!
