I can't believe I just said that!!!

I can honestly say that I had one of the biggest foot in my mouth moment as a parent this weekend.  Now there have been plenty of moments where I have caught myself saying something in front of the children that I shouldn't but this was different. 

I caught myself (or should I say I was caught by Censie, and appropriately called out by her) this weekend.  We were in the car driving around and Jude was playing how many questions can I ask in one car ride, which he is a professional at by the way, and began to worry about something.  To be honest I cannot even remember what he was worried about but it was another worry in a long string of worries.  Without even thinking I just told him "Jude you really have to stop worrying so much."

This is when the epic call out was initiated by Censie.  Yes she was completely just in calling me out.  I mean me the worrier who will worry about anything and will drive myself absolutely crazy because of my anxiety just told my anxious five year to stop worrying.  It is sad actually because I am a person that is very anxious and can turn the smallest thing into the biggest catastrophe in my head within seconds.  If someone told me to stop worrying I would be very upset and try to explain to them that I wish I could but I just can't, yet I expected my son to be able to in that instant just turn his brain off and stop worrying. 

I am hoping that I can teach him better than this.  I want him to be okay with who he is, even if that person deals with the same extreme anxiety that I do.  I want him to be able to understand what is going on within his head and to learn coping skills so he can be comfortable handling the situation.  I know one can not just turn it off but this comment came out in a time of frustration.  The hard part for me is controlling my own anxiety when Jude gets anxious.  It's a vicious cycle he gets anxious and then that makes my anxiety go up  and then I get frustrated.  I will work on my anxiety continually, but as stated I hope I can help him with his.

If you are dealing with a child who has anxiety here is an article I found helpful through Psychology Today:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-worry-mom/201302/12-tips-reduce-your-childs-stress-and-anxiety

Spring Time!

Spring Time!!!!

   When one is living in Colorado you never know what the weather is going to do.  A prime example of that has been the last couple of days for me.  On Tuesday I walked into work and we knew that a storm was coming so my coworker and I packed a bag and headed to the eastern plains of Colorado.  Now I am writing this post from my hotel room due to being stuck because of a blizzard.  

   With this being said though for the past couple of weeks we have had some pretty amazing summer which is one of the best parts of being in Colorado.  The kids have been really enjoying the warm weather as well.  Teagan has several times walked up to me to ask is it warm enough outside to play or ride or bikes?  Both of the kiddos have really started to enjoy being outside more as they get older. Teagan keeps asking to go to the park and swing on the swings!!

   The big thing this spring has been riding their bikes.  Teagan has been wanting to ride her big girl bike since she got it for Christmas.  I have really enjoyed watching them improve at riding their bikes, it even motivated me to get my bike out of the shed so that hopefully we can go for a bike ride together.  So far I have just spent a lot of time walking with them while they are riding, I can't complain though it is nice to get outside and I get a little exercise while walking.  It helps me get my steps in for my FitBit.  

   Jude has had a few struggles with riding his bike, the hardest part is that he cannot get out of his head ( I know Censie is laughing right now because he completely gets that from me).  Jude is so afraid that he is going to fall and get hurt.  He took a good fall this past summer right before his birthday and ever sense then he has been afraid.  It is hard for me because I get his anxiety but sadly his anxiety usually makes me anxious as well.  

  

   This week I found myself this week looking at websites trying to find the best way to teach him to ride a bike.  As I was talking to Censie about this she helped me come to a very good realization:  He is doing just fine!!!!  I was getting anxious that I have not been teaching him right or that he isn't getting it.  I should be celebrating all the successes that he has had so far this year.  He is doing so well despite his fears.  This was a good realization for me to make sure to spend more time celebrating the successes with my children.

  

   I hope that everyone is able to get out and enjoy the nice weather and have some good quality family time.  I hope that we can all celebrate the small successes with our kids and with each other.  I cannot wait for summer!!

Success in the face of anxiety!

Anxiety!

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (http://www.adaa.org/) there are about 40 million adults in the United States living with anxiety.  I am one of those 40 Million and I am pretty sure that my son will be one of those as well.  Anxiety can be very mild but it can also be to the point where it consumes your entire being.  

I want to preface this post with the fact that my son has never formally been diagnosed with anxiety but he is only 5 years old.  That being said we know that I have been diagnosed with sever anxiety, this became fully apparent as I was dealing with my Ulcerative Colitis diagnosis and my ileostomy surgery.  Often times I see so much of myself in Jude and his behaviors.  The downfall to all of this is that you can see Jude getting anxious in many situations and that just sends my anxiety into a downward spiral as well and I am still learning to handle this.  

I was so proud of him this weekend and all of the things that he was able to accomplish despite his anxiety.  Jude has been in Tae Kwon Do for quite some time now and has been doing pretty well.  Just recently they moved him up to a more advanced class.  In this class he is the youngest one in his class, and this has been a struggle for him.  Also if you have ever met my son he likes to talk all the time, I know there are many parents who say this, but seriously the child never stops talking.  

This weekend he had to complete his first testing in his higher level class.  This made me anxious because its a TEST.  That word in and of itself causes anxiety.  The class went through all the pieces that he was going to be tested on and it was a lot of information.  They told us that he had to complete the first 14 moves of a form by himself.  This was something I was very concerned that he was not going to be able to complete.  He had to know the form as well as piece them together and complete them in sequence .  This also was going to be done in front of many other students and parents.  

We practiced many times and worked very hard.  Despite all the preparation you could see the anxiety building and it all came out on Friday.  I had been out on a business trip and when I returned I asked him if he wanted to practice because we had to make sure we were ready and out came the tears.  He was so nervous and anxious the only way he could express it was having multiple huge tantrums.  I honestly had my doubts and was worried that he wasn't going to move up.  

With all of that being said though we woke up Saturday morning and went to his testing.  We were one of the first ones there and did a couple of run-throughs and then came the moment that he was out there on the floor and he was in control of how everything went.  I was a wreck, I was nervous, and I was horribly anxious.  Jude however stepped up to the plate went out there and KILLED IT!  He went out with his class and stepped up to the challenge and completed every move.  I was so proud  of him.  I cannot express how excited I was to see him succeed.  He worked hard and was able to control his brain as we describe it and succeeded.  I hope that this is the first of many successes for him, however I know that all of his successes are going to come with many challenges but we will work through it and I know we will learn from each other.  There are many more celebratory Slurpees to come!

Here he is with his new belt and our Slurpee!  I am so proud of you Jude!

Music Exposed!!

Here is a quick little today in Rock n Roll history for you. On this day in 1969 it is alleged that Jim Morrison exposed himself on stage in Florida!  

The Lizard King was arrested but the case was still unresolved when he passed away in Paris. 

As I share this information I am not sure if I should encourage random flashing or that you listen to some great music from Jim Morrison and The Doors!

That being said I will lean towards the safe side and encourage you to "Break on through to the other side!"

Watch out Rolling Stone here I come! An Interview with Inaiah Lujan.

It has been a while since I posted.  I have been busy with work and just life, that is what having to little ones will do to you.  I hope that everyone has been doing well and staying busy as well.
As I have said many times Music is a huge part of my life, I mean I am Fatherhood in Stereo.  Music evokes a huge passion in me and can change the mood I'm in, connect me with others and bring me to a place in my head that is needed sometimes.  I have expressed before I do suffer from pretty severe Anxiety and I often times rely on music to get it under control.

I remember when I picked up my first copy of Rolling Stone magazine, I was enthralled with it.  I mean a magazine all about music and culture.  I was able to read interviews from many of my favorite musical artists, I was able to read lists of the best of the best and I got to get up close to many concerts that I never was able to attend.  Let's not forget the covers come on I think we all have a favorite cover. There is the Janet Jackson cover (you know which one I am talking about), Kurt Cobain, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

The best part of the magazine were the interviews.  I won't forget the first time I saw Almost Famous I was in awe.  You could travel with bands, listen to music, become close with them and just talk about music?  I mean what could be wrong about that.  Here is the problem though you had to be able to be a quality writer.  We have already covered that is not my strength however dreams do come true.  While working on blog topics I reached out to Inaiah Lujan from The Haunted Windchimes (Check out my last post to read about their music) to see if he would do an interview.  I didn't think I would hear anything from anyone but he responded, and he actually said yes!  I couldn't believe it I got to interview a musician about music.  Even though I am not working for a magazine i was able to mark off a bucket list item and fulfill a dream of mine.  I am amazed by the music that that they create and the type of person that he is.  So with all of that build up here is the interview!!!

How old were you when you started playing music?
I took to music at an early age with interest in the piano… To my parents amazement I learned the demo tune on a tiny Casio keyboard at the age of 3. They got me my first full sized keyboard that Christmas, I believe, which would have been '86 or ’87, I’ve been obsessed ever since. 

Who were your musical influences as a child?
My dad raised me on classical music, Mozart, Beethoven and Chopin were amongst my first favorites. My mom was more into stuff like Dylan and the Beatles. Neil Young was also one of her favorites, it seemed like she always had music playing and I can remember looking at all of her LP’s as a child and attempting to recreate the artwork with my crayons. 

Was music a big part within your family? How did your sister and you end up playing music together?
Yes like I said before, it seemed no matter what the activity, Mom had a record playing in the background… Classical or Flamenco music from Dad to put us to sleep. Chela would sing a long to all of her favorite Disney movies and it wasn’t long before we were singing together trying to recreate our favorite songs and eventually start to harmonize. 

What is like playing in a band with your wife and your sister?
It is truly is a blessing, though challenging at times to have so much talent and creative personalities in one group. It is pure magic when we can tune-in to each other and blend our voices and ideas into song. 

What is the most difficult thing for you being on the road playing music?
I don’t think most people realize how much work goes in to being a touring musician. I mean you are practically living in a van, out of a suitcase going from town to town, show to show and pouring your heart out each night. Nobody’s getting rich, in fact sometimes we return home and have to figure out how we’re going to make the rent. Some audiences don’t care at all… But the one’s that do, the one’s that really pay attention make it all worth while. I think the one thing that keeps us going is our love for the songs, and our passion to share them.  

Do you have a favorite city or town to play music in? Why?
I wouldn’t say we have a favorite town, although many come to mind when thinking on this question… To us the best shows happen when we are in-tune with one another on stage, and the audience is in-tune with us and each other… It takes a lot of people holding each other up to make a successful show, and our biggest successes come when all these elements are working harmoniously towards a unity of mind and spirit.

Where do you get your inspiration from when writing your music?
Life experiences, love, loss… Feeling any emotion intensely enough that if you don’t get it out you might just burst, that’s what being a songwriter is all about. 

How would you describe the music that The Haunted Windchimes make? What makes it different than traditional bluegrass, or folk?
I would describe our music as honest, heartfelt and soulful. 

It’s hard to put any label on our music, but unfortunately to have success in this business you have to play the game, and that includes branding and labeling yourself something even if that something is broad and general in a sense. We make music. It comes out the way it does, we just try to step aside and let it happen organically and when the mood strikes, not by force. We are inspired by all types of music and a lot of non-musical things too. We are simply attempting to translate our experiences in to song and I suppose people relate that to the songs of old, like folk or Americana or Bluegrass… I have no problem personally with these labels, we love all types of music, and see it as a means for people to create a relationship to it, and that is fine by us. 

Besides music do you have any other creative outlets or talents?
We all have other outlets but stay in that realm of creativity. For example my wife Desi is a painter and potter, Chela does beadwork and jewelry, Mike loves to build things, and is always up to some creative project and I do graphic design work, mostly for bands.

Pick one song that is your favorite that you have recorded?  Why is that your favorite?

This changes from day to day, if I had to pick a current favorite it would be my wife’s song 
"Bed of Roses,” she recorded it for a solo EP a few years back and the Chime’s have since picked it up and started playing it live and recorded it for our recent Daytrotter session. The song has an almost uncomfortable honesty but a feeling I believe all people can relate to. In the end we are telling stories from our live’s in hopes that someone, somewhere might relate to it in a positive way, and know that they are not alone in the universe.

Thank you to Inaiah for taking the time to answer my questions.  I hope that this is the first of many interviews to come.  I will continue to wokr at trying to live this small dream of mine!  Please check out Inaiah and The Haunted Windchimes  at www.inaiahlujan.com

Listen to This Now: The Haunted Windchimes.

Earlier this year when I started to pick up writing on this blog again I wanted to be able to share my love of music with everyone.  One of the big things that I wanted to do was to share with you the reader some awesome bands that you may or may not know of.  In return I want you to share bands with me so I can expand my musical horizon as well.  I love it when someone tells me to go listen to a band and I immediately get hooked on them.  This next band was just that.  An instant favorite of mine.

Before I wrote this post I reached out to Inaiah Lujan to ask if they would be okay with my promoting their band and sharing my review.  I wasn't sure if I would ever hear back but almost immediately I did and even got an awesome opportunity, but I am not going to share it all on this post you will have to come back and read the next post.  

The band I want to highlight today is: The Haunted Windchimes.  After this post I hope you will go out and but their album and support these amazing artists.  

Back in December I went to a SoFar Sounds concert here in Denver.  I got the privilege of seeing several bands in a very small venue, I mean probably 30 people.  I heard Inaiah and his wife Desirae perform and this is the first time I had ever heard of The Haunted Windchimes.  I came home that night and found them on iTunes and downloaded all of their albums.

This band has an extremely unique sound.  When I listen to them I feel like I am taken to a different world.  I do not know how you would classify them, are they folk, or are the bluegrass or old time Americana?  I don't know if you can put a label on them besides FREAKING AMAZING!!  This band not only includes a brother and sister playing together but a husband and wife,  They hail from Pueblo, Colorado, what you do not know where that is?  Its in southern Colorado and the population of Pueblo is just a little over 108,000 people.  

The Haunted Windchimes are a band that you would expect to hear on an old vintage radio during the dust bowl.  Their sound is honest and pure.  Inaiah's guitar playing is so fluid and precise.  He makes the guitar sing each note with ease while setting the mood, immediately my mind compared him to Arlo Guthrie.  The band together is what makes The Haunted Windchimes a perfect combination.  Inaiah has his guitar playing and a very soulful voice coming from him that when I saw him I didn't expect.  Desirae and Chela harmonize their voices to the point that it gives me chills, all while they are playing the banjo and ukulele.  They bring a soul and peace to the music that I wasn't expecting.  Its deep and meaningful.  

This is not music that you can listen to if you do not want to feel anything, they have a way of transporting you to a different world with the lyrics and sound.  Just take a look at these lyrics:  

When I come around
I'd really like to see you
Kiss you on the lips before I go
Wrap my arms around your little body
Squeeze you 'till the moonlight takes our soul

I'm leaving here, I'll see you when I see you
Leaving this ghost town, this time for good
Meet me by a train just after midnight
Meet me just like you said you would

When I am listening to them in my car people probably think I am nuts because I am tapping my hands and signing along.  You cant help but become completely engrossed in their sounds and the music.  They have been featured on Prairie Home Companion in 2011 and 2012 and won the Indy Music Award for Americana in 2012.  If  you are looking at buying any music spend your money on The Haunted Windchimes you will not regret it.  Please check back within the next couple of days for an interview I completed with Inaiah and The Haunted Windchimes. 

Here is the bands website complete with bios and videos:  http://inaiahlujan.com/

How do you get your music?

This question came up today between a couple of co-workers and myself today.  How do you get your music?  Do you buy Cd's or records? Do you download music digitally on iTunes, Amazon music? do you stream your music Spotify, Pandora for free of do you pay for streaming services?

I would have never thought that I would be having this conversation 15 years ago.  When I was in high school I was as much into music as I am today.  I remember walking around with my Discman in my back pack or in the back pocket of my JNCO jeans.  I kept my huge CD case in my car and was always listening to music.  I also remember trying to have money so I could go to the store and buy that CD that I had been waiting so long to come out.  I remember going through my parent's old records and realizing how big of hippies they were and are. (side note you know your parents were hippies when you tell your mom "Play Free Bird" and she responds back, no thank you the keyboard part in that song is so boring to play!)  I found a love of music on vinyl records during middle school and now have been able to continue that love of music on vinyl records thanks to the the resurgence of vinyl records. Also who from my generation doesn't remember sitting around the radio trying to make a mixtape for a love interest or friends. I do and it still haunts me when you would hit record too late or stop too early!  

Fast forward to present day and I am always asking for iTunes gift cards so I have a consistent balance on my account so I can buy music whenever I want.  A CD will come out and I can buy it and download it with a touch of a finger first thing that morning or as I lie awake in bed looking at the new music.  I can also stream music with the free services on my phone or iPod while at work through the internet but it is limited unless I want to pay for the monthly service.  Gone are the days of listening to the radio and trying to find out what is new, or waiting for a video to come on MTV and here are the days of opening streaming where you can find new music on a whim and you can pull up a video at any time online.

Has this changed music and the type of music being created?  There are many individuals that have become huge successes because of YouTube or social media.  Can you imagine the hype that the Beatles would have had if social media was around?  Would John Lennon been ripped to pieces when he made his comment about The Beatles being more popular than Jesus?  The Beatles catalog just started being available on Sptotify, this is great for those that do not have their music but I was not overly joyed as I already own almost their complete collection.  I love that I can share my love of music with my children.  Tonight on the way home the kids asked to listen to "Hey Jude" and "Yellow Submarine"..  I was able to plug into my car radio and we listened and sang to these songs all the way home.   I have to say I am so thankful for the download stores and then the current music stores like 2nd and Charles where I can go there and flip through records and share that excitement again of finding that record I was looking for and holding it in my hands

I think feel that this is an interesting conversation that can go in many directions.  Some consider downloading music a crime and then those that feel that Cd's and records are outdated and dying.   My opinion is I could care less how you get music as long as you are listening to music.  I love having my iPod where I have all my music at my finger tips, I like the streaming options so I can find new artists and find new recommendations, but I also love the smell of vinyl records and sharing the experience of having to get up and turn a record over with my kids.  How do you get your music?  Do you have any suggestions or thoughts that you want to share with others?  Please leave comments about your musical taste and band recommendations!