A Honest Confession!

I have a confession to make........

 

I don't always finish what I start!  I know that this may come as a shock to you but its the truth:( 

 

 

This is a thing that I feel that I have dealt with for quite some time.  It came up in counseling and so I took a look at my life and realize that there might be some truth to this.  I also have unrealistic definitions of success and failure.

 

I have a nasty habit of when I do something that I expect to be the best at it right away and if I am not then I am a failure.  It sounds odd when I type it out but its the truth. 

 

I own two guitars and I have a love of music and always wanted to learn how to play.  I can play some but when I couldn't play every song that I wanted I got disappointed and have stopped playing them.  I also did this when I wanted to learn how to play the harmonica. 

 

This blog has been one o those as well.  When I started it I thought that this was going to be something that people are going to go crazy over and when it wasn't an overnight success I put it on the back burner.  I apologize to everyone that has supported me with this for doing that. 

 

I promise that I am working on what my definitions of success an failure are.  I know that it is going to take some work and some recommitment but I need to continue to work at this.  For those of you that know me please help hold me responsible for finishing and following through with things.  I am working to better the person I am and this is just the start!  Thanks!

Jeremy

2013 Where to Go From Here?

Goals for 2013?!?!?

 

I have never been one to do New Year's Resolutions because I have never fully completed them so I am hoping that I can just complete these goals for this year.  I have had a lot of time these last couple of days sitting here to think about them :)

 

1. My goal is to be healthier this year.  I have had a lot of health issues over the past several years but with surgery happening on January 9th I am hoping to be able to move forward.  I put on 70lbs since being on prednisone and with this surgery I will be able to get off this drug.  I am also hoping that I will be able to work out more and be more active without having to worry about my illness. 

 

2. I am hoping to be a more present and active father and husband.  This also goes along with number one but when I am sick I am not able to do the things with my family that I want because of fear of being sick.  I want to be outside playing with my children and family as much as possible and make sure that they have a good time spending time with me.  I want my children and wife to know every day that I love them and how lucky I am to have them in my life.

 

3. I want to be more of an advocate for Ulcerative Colitis and now having an Ostomy.  I have told my close friends and family about this illness and how it affects me but I would like to be able to help others who are going through this illness.  It can have a huge impact on the individual but also the family, just ask Censie, I know she is done with this illness as well.  I think that we often times do not talk about this illness because of what we have to talk about but we have to spread the awareness of it so that is more accepted and understood.

 

4.  I want to read more.  I have a Kindle and have started reading again while in the hospital and I really want to keep reading more.  I want my children to share in the love of reading, Jude already loves books but this was something that I didn't do enough as a child.  I want them to see that it is important and enjoy a good book!

 

5.  I want to gain control of my anxiety and depression.  This has been something that has been a challenge for me.  I am seeing a therapist about it but I need to be able to gain person control of it.  I continue to worry about everything and beat myself up about things.  Also when this happens I shut down, right Censie?  I need to be better about understanding it and managing it so that I control it and it does not control me. 

 

6. I want to try and do more things that I want to do.  I want to start playing my guitar more, it takes practice but I never play it but really want to be able to play the guitar more.  I also want to start cooking more. This is something that I enjoy and I do have a interest in I just never do it or never try anything.  I want to try and commit to doing these things more often

Well this is my start to what I want go accomplish in 2013 and I hope to continue to add more and cross some things off as well.  Most importantly I want this year to be about my family and enjoying spending time with each other every day and knowing that we love each other fully each and every day as well.  Good luck to everyone else in 2013.