A Whirlwind of Emotions

WHY????

10/17/2012.  This has been a post that I have been trying to write since that date.  Sadly this is the day that that my Grandfather, or my "Papa" as he will always be in my heart passed away.  

Thankfully I was able to be present with him at his house with family and friends when he passed away.  This is something that was very hard for me but also something special for me to be there with him.  I know that he is no longer in pain and that he is at peace but as we know it is hard for the individuals left behind.

I went through my memories that day and I am continuously going through memories as we get closer to the funeral and with my family coming out.  I am very lucky to have been able to have my Papa with me for 31 years.  I remember going with him and my father to Baseball Card shows and he would always talk to me about the cards and help me pick out cards.   He always let us play with his little slot machine while we were at his house, I am lucky that he gave this to our family and it is now sitting in my house.  I remember when he would call the house when we had a baby sitter and they were freaked out because a robot was talking to him but that was just papa talking with his "talk box" that I called it due to having a stoma.  

I am very thankful that Jude got to meet him but am also saddened that he passed three days prior to Teagan being born.  I know that he is watching our family from heaven and I hope that he is proud.  

This is one of the pictures that I got of Jude playing with Papa.  This was after Papa had been sick but was still able to enjoy playing with Jude.  This picture will always hold a special place in my heart. I feel the tears coming up as I am writing this.  I got to see the smiles on both of their faces and see Jude get "buzzed" with the "talk box" he used to talk and remembered how it felt as a child to get buzzed by Papa.  

Papa will always remain in my heart and I will share stories about him with joy and happiness.  Every time I see poker chips, slot machines, sports cards and sadly the Raiders, I will think about my papa.  I am blessed to have had him in my life and I am glad to know that he is spending time with his dad up in Heaven and hope that he has found peace and joy.  I love you Papa!